July 15, 2015
For Philly sports fans, there hasn't been live local sports worth watching since the Flyers lost to the Bruins in overtime on March 7, over four months ago.
Tonight, the rest of the sports world gets a taste of what we've been dealing with all summer: no live sports from any of the major four sports leagues. That's right, it's ESPY night, the one night on the calendar that people will actually tune in to watch athletes, most of whom were already honored with a trophy at the end of their respective season, be awarded yet again.
But don't despair, because if the ESPYs aren't your thing, there are plenty of other things to watch, even if they aren't sports-related.
Of course, you could do something other than watch TV tonight, but that's so much work. So if you plan on staying in and trying to watch something at least mildly entertaining, here's a look at some of your viewing options:
The Sixers will take on the Nets at 4:30 p.m. in the second of eight tournament games scheduled for tonight out in the Las Vegas Summer League, with the winner earning a date with the Spurs on Thursday. However, the main reason for Sixers fans to tune in, third-overall pick Jahlil Okafor won't be playing. Instead, he'll be attending the ESPYs.
Man, they ruin everything.
Still, if you're a big hoops fan, there's a full night of NBA quality something that resembles basketball on NBATV.
I'm sure there are a lot of quality athletes participating in these games, but the fact that ESPN decided to air a replay of the Home Run Derby on their main channel and relegate this to ESPN2 isn't a good sign. Still, it has to be better than the "World Championships of Cornhole X." Tonight's lineup includes gymnastics, swimming, soccer, and beach volleyball (in Toronto).
This would probably more a draw for Phillies fans if the IronPigs had more than one all star, 27-year-old Tyler Henson. Next year, however, there's a good chance you'll see guys like Aaron Nola and J.P. Crawford playing in this game. In five starts since being promoted to triple-A, Nola is 3-0 with a 2.43 ERA.
Free UFC anyone? The main event features former heavyweight champ Frank Mir and Todd Duffee. If that's not enough to get you to tune in, how about the fact that Duffee owns the fastest knockout in UFC heavyweight history at seven seconds.
If you like to stay up really late, or get up really early, don't forget that live coverage of the British Open begins before the sun comes up tomorrow.
OTHER SPORTS PROGRAMMING
• Philly Sports Classics: Dr. J Retirement Night, 7:30 p.m. on ESPN
• Live from St. Andrews, 7 p.m. on Golf Channel
• Family Feud, 7 p.m. on CW - You still get the thrill of competition with that added bonus of someone making a complete idiot out of themselves. Plus, you've got Steve Harvey, by far the best Family Feud host since Richard Dawson.
It's also on Game Show Network from 6-8 p.m. and again 11 p.m.
• American Ninja Warrior, 9 p.m. on NBC - It's Military Night, so it'll feature active duty and retired members of the military trying to complete an obstacle course designed by Satan. I'm sure this is exactly how all those hours of basic training were meant to be used. And at the very least, you should get a fair share of touching stories between each run. Shows like this always play up the personal stories of their competitors, and with all the servicemen and women involved tonight, there will definitely be some tearjerkers.
• Key & Peele, 10 p.m. on Comedy Central - Do you really need anything else?
It almost doesn't make sense to try to come up with a list here, because with all the various platforms available -- Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime, iTunes, etc. -- you can pretty much watch whatever you want.
If you're looking for something sports-related to watch, however, I highly recommend checking out some 30 for 30 documentaries. They're about sports, but they aren't "sports." Heck, my girlfriend (and other non-sports-obsessed women I've talked to) really like these.
Also, every episode of Seinfeld ever made is available on Hulu. So, yeah...
There's a way you can score some quick brownie points with your girlfriend or significant other who isn't a big sports fan. Ask her if there's anything she wants to watch, and then actually let her watch it.
Just don't tell her the reason is because you'd rather gouge your own eyes out than watch the ESPYs.
And if she insists on watching three straight hours of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" (on E! from 8-11 p.m.), maybe you can strike a compromise* by watching the ESPYs, where Caitlyn Jenner will be honored with the Authur Ashe Courage Award.
Because no matter how much you hate the ESPYs, they can't possibly be worse than the Kardashians.
