September 08, 2017
Former Philadelphia Phillies player and, um, interesting person Lenny Dykstra is trying to capitalize on "Girls" creator Lena Dunham's recent interest in baseball players.
On Thursday evening, Dunham tweeted that she was "horny" for baseball players. "Wow!" she added, for whatever reason.
I'm horny for baseball players! Wow!
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) September 7, 2017
Dykstra, who is on Twitter despite it likely being against his best interest, responded by asking Dunham to message him and sending her a song by Garth Brooks.
DM me.
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) September 7, 2017
Lena, this is for you: https://t.co/GYUVLFNEDf
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) September 8, 2017
She bit:
Okay now you're making me laugh. I'm gonna have to read your wiki. This whole exchange is a real trip!
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) September 8, 2017
And he bragged about his athletic accomplishments with the hated New York Mets:
This is a good place to start to get the bloodflow going, doll: https://t.co/gA3YPqoz0V
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) September 8, 2017
Of course, the romance did not last long. After looking through his Wikipedia page, which includes, among other things, accusations of sexual assault, she called him a "landmine of repugnance."
And thus, she came to the following conclusions:
(Warning: The following tweet contains profanity)
You guys I'm being simultaneously trolled & seduced by @LennyDykstra this day has gotten really fucking weird 😭
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) September 8, 2017
Excited about my new stalker @LennyDykstra! Unfortunately he seems to have underestimated my powers. Nite baseball fans, what a wild ride ⚾️
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) September 8, 2017
This, of course, did not stop Dykstra from making sexual advances toward Dunham, who shot him down.
If you can't get to sleep after all this excitement, I recommend a cold shower.
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) September 8, 2017
You know deep down you want to take a ride on the space shuttle.
— Lenny Dykstra (@LennyDykstra) September 8, 2017
Do you just sit around asking your friends "what's the least witty way I can revolt a woman?"
— Lena Dunham (@lenadunham) September 8, 2017
A man who was convicted on charges he forced housekeepers to massage him by wielding a knife is trying to court a woman who once said she wishes she had an abortion and berates people she assumes don't want to sleep with her.
There are many good things about Twitter. This is not one of those things.
