October 11, 2016

A thank-you note to my son

Katie's Baby Motherhood
Katie_Gagnon_Letter Trish English (his MomMom)/for PhillyVoice

Katie and her son, Killian, pictured at one week old. She is overjoyed to be a mother to her loving baby boy.

Dear Killian,

My life was changed 11 days ago in the most magical, wonderful way. At 2:09 a.m. on Oct. 1, 2016, you were born.

When your father placed you in my arms, your little body against my bare chest, you were crying — adjusting to this new and unfamiliar world. I began to talk to you, knowing that you would recognize the sound of my voice after growing inside me for 42 weeks. Your crying subsided quickly and your bright, wide eyes looked directly into mine. I felt as if the world stopped spinning; there was only you and me and your Daddy. Nothing else mattered. It was at this moment that I fell completely and totally in love with you.

After I nursed you for the first time, your Daddy cradled you on his chest, skin-to-skin, with a blanket wrapped behind you. I saw him melt into wonder and witnessed him falling in love with you as I did. From that moment on, we have taken turns holding you tight, cuddling and kissing you, changing you and dressing you, bathing you and burping you. When I am feeding you, your Daddy is counting down the seconds until he can take you back in his arms. When he is holding you, I postpone my requests to cuddle you again because of the joy it brings me to see you two together.

Becoming parents has been made simple because you are such an easy, happy, healthy and loving baby. You rarely cry; when you do, our entire focus is to soothe you, to care for you, to take away your discomfort, to let you know we are here. You eat like a pro, sleep for four-hour stretches through the night and love being in our arms. Every movement you make captures our entire attention. Every sound you create is awe-inspiring. Every stretch and sigh, every smile and sleep feel like a miracle to behold. I am so happy I feel as if my heart may explode.

My sweet Killian, thank you for the joy you bring. Thank you for the love you have created and provide. Thank you for your happy and peaceful disposition. Thank you for your smiles. Thank you for making us so grateful to be alive, to have you in our lives and to have the privilege of raising you. Thank you for giving my life its ultimate purpose. Thank you for choosing me to be your Mommy.

My darling baby boy, you have been in this world for less than two weeks and I cannot imagine life without you. You are mine, and I am yours. Nothing and no one will ever change that, my son. I will be here for you, forever and always.

Love,

Mommy

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Every week for the past several months I have shared my experience as a first-time expectant mother. Now that my son has arrived, I have more to share and much to learn. Continue to join me every Tuesday on PhillyVoice to offer your thoughts and advice as I continue on my journey.