April 13, 2016
There are travesties and then there are travesties.
Today’s installment of things-that-should-not be arrived in my mental inbox courtesy of Twitter’s @85mf who, on Wednesday morning, wrote, “Hey Philly Twitter, just in case you need to get righteously pissed off this morning.” Go on.
Appended to that message was a link to a story from TV station KDKA which wrote “The Best Cheesesteak in Pennsylvania May Be In Pittsburgh. You Can Help Vote It To Victory.” I won’t link to their story because its presentation is so patently offensive.
What I will link to, however, is the USA Today poll to which their story linked.
There are varying levels of truth to what KDKA shared with its ballot-box-stuffing audience.
For instance, The Groove Cheesesteak Co. of Pittsburgh IS among the 20 “Best Cheesesteak In Pennsylvania Nominees.” But, with all due respect to steakaurateurs across the state, the best cheesesteak in Pennsylvania is not in Pittsburgh anymore than Vermin Supreme could be the next president of the United States.
Sure, it’s leading the steak-race at the moment. This, I suspect, is a direct effect of a western Pennsylvania TV station getting their civically-inspiring SEO game on point and appealing to its readership’s “Us vs. Them” mentality.
That’s fine. We can do that too.
Of course, there’s an inherent problem of the local vote being split among 11 options in Philadelphia. A fractured vote could let one of the non-Philly nominees win. That would be tragic. We might never recover.
So, here’s what has to happen from the Philly side of things: Massive voter turnout to offset any split-vote syndrome.
Your Philly choices are Chubby's Steaks, Dalessandro's Steaks and Hoagies, Geno's Steaks, Jim's Steaks (South Street), Joe's Steaks and Soda Shop, John's Roast Pork, Pagano's Market and Bar, Pat's King of Steaks, Philip's Steaks, Steve's Prince of Steaks and Tony Luke's.
Regional-vote options include Leo's Steak Shop in Folcroft, Delaware County; Maggio's Restaurant in Southampton, Bucks County; Mama's Pizzeria in Bala Cynwyd, Montgomery County; and Pudge's Steaks and Hoagies in Blue Bell, Montgomery County. (That's 15 out of 20 options, mind you.)
This is not the time to fight amongst ourselves, but to unite in the face of a common enemy. Vote early and often to ensure the sanctity of Philadelphia is defended in this latest in a long, long line of cheesesteak polls. You'll feel better about yourself and your community.