June 23, 2017
As a league that has always done a great job of marketing its stars, the NBA generally does nicknames pretty well. The Splash Brothers are the spiritual successors to Run-TMC in Golden State. And while it’s not particularly easy to pronounce Giannis Antetokounmpo’s name, a lot of people decide stick with the “Greek Freak.”
Boogie, Brow, Uncle Drew, Birdman, and Manimal are some other current favorites that initially come to mind. The NBA is not short on personality, and that comes through with many of the player nicknames.
So, after the Sixers selected Markelle Fultz with the top overall pick in the 2017 NBA Draft, their social media savant took to Twitter to declare a nickname for the young and talented group of basketball players: FEDS.
According to Sixers fans, the new nickname is the "FEDS" (Fultz, Embiid, Dario, Simmons).. the FEDS are coming 🔥🔥🔥#TheProcess— Joel Embiid (@JoelEmbiid) June 22, 2017
Let’s get something out of the way first: Joel Embiid, three years into the league, is unquestionably the NBA’s king of comedy. 99.9 percent of what he puts out on Twitter is hilarious. His self-awareness in embracing “The Process” has been critical for his #brand.
That said, with all due respect to Embiid’s marketing genius, FEDS is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad nickname. The Sixers aren’t cops, they’re kids! We have to, no we need to do better. Here are some suggestions that I got on Twitter:
Sons of Sam— Chris Longwith (@_longwith) June 23, 2017
Mount Trustmore— Bill Chaykin (@BillyChay) June 23, 2017
The Oneders— Mike Scannapieco (@MikePieco) June 23, 2017
Team WHOP: Redux— Dominic Pody (@ALargerQuiver) June 23, 2017
The United Nations— Nathan lawlor🏳️🌈 (@Krekzum22) June 23, 2017
The Results?— max (@MaxRappaport) June 23, 2017
Of all the suggestions that I received, “The UN” and “The Result” (“drop the S, it’s cleaner”) are probably the best two. I’m not saying that either those nicknames have to stick, either. Think of this as a call to arms for Sixers fans and nickname aficionados.
And hey, maybe something happens organically over the next couple of seasons that makes a nickname obvious, but please, start off without a nickname if the best you can come up with is FEDS.
Any better suggestions that aren't "How about the Sixers?"
Follow Rich on Twitter: @rich_hofmann
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