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June 23, 2017

The Sixers' young core needs a much better nickname than the FEDS

Sixers NBA

Fultz and Simmons' Rookie of the Year odds dropped.

As a league that has always done a great job of marketing its stars, the NBA generally does nicknames pretty well. The Splash Brothers are the spiritual successors to Run-TMC in Golden State. And while it’s not particularly easy to pronounce Giannis Antetokounmpo’s name, a lot of people decide stick with the “Greek Freak.”

Boogie, Brow, Uncle Drew, Birdman, and Manimal are some other current favorites that initially come to mind. The NBA is not short on personality, and that comes through with many of the player nicknames.

So, after the Sixers selected Markelle Fultz with the top overall pick in the 2017 NBA Draft, their social media savant took to Twitter to declare a nickname for the young and talented group of basketball players: FEDS.

Let’s get something out of the way first: Joel Embiid, three years into the league, is unquestionably the NBA’s king of comedy. 99.9 percent of what he puts out on Twitter is hilarious. His self-awareness in embracing “The Process” has been critical for his #brand.

That said, with all due respect to Embiid’s marketing genius, FEDS is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad nickname. The Sixers aren’t cops, they’re kids! We have to, no we need to do better. Here are some suggestions that I got on Twitter:

Of all the suggestions that I received, “The UN” and “The Result” (“drop the S, it’s cleaner”) are probably the best two. I’m not saying that either those nicknames have to stick, either. Think of this as a call to arms for Sixers fans and nickname aficionados.

And hey, maybe something happens organically over the next couple of seasons that makes a nickname obvious, but please, start off without a nickname if the best you can come up with is FEDS.

Any better suggestions that aren't "How about the Sixers?"

Follow Rich on Twitter: @rich_hofmann

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