July 06, 2015
A recent article by Slate contributor and author Julie Lythcott-Haims takes aim at the potential negative effects of overinvolved parents - aka helicopter parents - by highlighting several studies and surveys that suggest this sort of parenting style may cause mental health issues among children.
Haims, a former dean at Stanford University and author of "How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Sucess," shares statistics, advice and excerpts from her book.
"Often brilliant, always accomplished, these students would sit on my couch holding their fragile, brittle parts together, resigned to the fact that these outwardly successful situations were their miserable lives," Haims writes, referring to her days as a college dean.
One of the many findings Haims points to is a 2014 study from researchers at the University of Colorado–Boulder that suggests children with highly structured childhoods are less capable of determining which goal-directed actions to carry out and when to do so.
"As parents, our intentions are sound — more than sound: We love our kids fiercely and want only the very best for them," Haims writes.
However, she writes, when children aren’t given the space to struggle through things on their own, they don’t necessarily learn to problem-solve very well. A staff psychologist at a large public university in the Midwest whose name was changed in the article told Haims:
"They don’t learn to be confident in their own abilities, and it can affect their self-esteem. The other problem with never having to struggle is that you never experience failure and can develop an overwhelming fear of failure and of disappointing others. Both the low self-confidence and the fear of failure can lead to depression or anxiety."
Read the full Slate feature, including links to the book "How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Sucess," here.
