Handing out 10 awards from the Eagles-Colts preseason game

Lets hand out some hardware from the Eagles preseason finale.

"Man, it's still only the third quarter," Nick Sirianni says to a couple of officials.
Eric Hartline/USA TODAY Sports

The Philadelphia Eagles' preseason is over. They lost to the Indianapolis Colts, which, who cares. As always, win, lose, or tie, we hand out 10 awards.

1) The 'Made the Team (Well, Probably)' Award 👍: The guys who didn't play

The final preseason game is probably more noteworthy for who doesn't play as much as who does. The guys who don't play typically have already made the team. The following players did not dress:

Offense: Jalen Hurts, D'Andre Swift, Rashaad Penny, Kenny Gainwell, Boston Scott, A.J. Brown, DeVonta Smith, Olamide Zaccheaus, Dallas Goedert, Jack Stoll, Grant Calcaterra, Jordan Mailata, Landon Dickerson, Jason Kelce, Cam Jurgens, Lane Johnson, Jack Driscoll, Sua Opeta.

Defense Josh Sweat, Brandon Graham, Nolan Smith, Derek Barnett, Fletcher Cox, Jalen Carter, Jordan Davis, Milton Williams, Marlon Tuipulotu, Kentavius Street, Nakobe Dean, Zach Cunningham, Darius Slay, James Bradberry, Avonte Maddox, Josh Jobe, Reed Blankenship.

The surprise name that stands out above is Kentavius Street. 

These guys also didn't dress, but have had recent injuries:

Offense: Quez Watkins, Britain Covey

Defense: Haason Reddick, Moro Ojomo, Mario Goodrich

2) The 'LOL' Award 😂: Anthony Richardson

After the Colts scored a TD in the first quarter... on a running play... against some fourth stringers... Colts rookie starting quarterback Anthony Richardson taunted the Eagles by flapping his arms like a bird.

Richardson completed 6 of 17 passes, many of which were wildly off target.

3) The 'Gonna Lose a Lot of Games' Award: The Colts

The Colts' starters played the entire first half, and they barely outscored guys like Tyreek Maddox-Williams, Robert Cooper, and Kennedy Brooks. The Colts are going to be very, very bad in 2023. 

4) The 'Longball' Award 🥾: Jake Elliott

He hit 59-yard and 52-yard field goals. He's good.

5) The 'Shortball' Award 👡: Arryn Siposs

One of Siposs' punts traveled 31 yards in the air. I mean... that's just not acceptable. He punted one ball that went 49 yards and it felt like he hit a bomb. The Eagles can't really go into another season with Siposs as the punter. I mean... right?

6) The 'Tackle Machine' Award : Ben VanSumeren

Dude had 17 tackles! He even tackled a guy on a pass play before he had the ball. 

7) The 'Anti-Harbaugh' Award : Nick Sirianni

In the Sirianni era, the Eagles are now 1-6-2 in preseason games, with a point differential of -98. His record is much better during the regular season.

8) The 'Winners' Award 🏆: Us

We're about as far away from the Eagles' next No. 3 preseason game as possible. And for that we should be thankful.

9) The Award For Excellence in Preseason Gunnering and Returning: Devon Allen

I don't know, man. It was hard coming up with 10 things.

10) The 'Soon' Award 🔜: The NFL regular season

The start of the regular season is about two weeks away, as the Chiefs will host the Lions in the season opener on September 7. The Eagles' first game will be on September 10. 

For now, the 2023 Eagles' preseason is over. Now let us never speak of it again.


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