For those of you who are new here, we do a "Hierarchy/Obituary" post every week during the season, in which we kill off teams that have reached the point where they have almost no chance to make the playoffs. We then write their obituary and never speak of them in the Hierarchy again. 

Anyway, it's my hackneyed sell-out spin on the more traditional "power rankings." Got it? Cool. Let's do a post-free agency / owners meetings edition.

16) Cardinals (3-14 in 2025): When I sat down to write this, I wondered, "Who even is their quarterback? Is it still Jacoby Brissett?"

And, yep! They also signed Gardner Minshew.

This team has won four or fewer games in three of the last four seasons. That's almost impossible to pull off in today's NFL, and they might do it again.

15) Commanders (5-12 in 2025): After years and years and years of awful football in Washington, the Commanders finally gave their fans something to get excited about in 2024, when they had a magical season and a trip to the NFC Championship Game. 

However, in the subsequent offseason, rather than picking a few spots to build around Jayden Daniels, they signed a couple dozen 30+ year old players and fielded the oldest roster in the NFL in over a decade. That strategy very predictably failed.

This offseason, they stopped signing old dudes and instead wildly overpaid a bunch of role players who have to come off the field in certain situations.

A couple years ago, even before Hard Knocks left no doubt, it felt pretty clear to me that Giants GM Joe Schoen didn't know what he was doing, and I think I'm also now there with Commanders GM Adam Peters.

14) Panthers (8-9 in 2025): The Panthers won the NFC South in 2025, but they also had the fourth-worst point differential in the NFC at -69, and because they won their division, they earned themselves a first-place schedule in 2026. All of the NFC South teams will play each other twice, of course, and they will play all four teams in the NFC North and AFC North.

Here are the three remaining floating games each NFC South team will play in 2026:

The combined 2025 record of the Panthers' three floating opponents: 39-12 (0.765). That is a huge disadvantage.

13) Saints (6-11 in 2025): The Saints started the 2025 season 2-10, which wouldn't have surprised anyone before the season began. But they also finished the season 4-1, and Tyler Shough showed a little something down the stretch.

The Saints still have a long way to go, but even at 6-11 in 2025 I would consider Kellen Moore's first season as their head coach a mild success.

12) Cowboys (7-9-1 in 2025): The Cowboys won 12 regular season games in 2021, 2022, and 2023. Those seasons ended with crushing playoff losses, but at least they were somewhat dangerous.

They got worse during 2024 free agency when they lost a bunch of good players, and then they got way worse in 2025 after trading Micah Parsons for 60 cents on the dollar.

The result: The last two seasons they're 14-19-1.

This offseason, they didn't really lose many good players, but they also didn't add any difference makers.

The NFL is more fun when the Cowboys are doing stuff and they're at least dangerous. But these days the ESPNs of the world aren't even bothering hyping them up for engagement anymore because they have become such a boring, average-to-below average team.

11) Falcons (8-9 in 2025): The Falcons have the best running back in the NFL and a very young defense with some upside, but none of that matters because Michael Penix ain't it.

10) Giants (4-13 in 2025): I'm kind of bullish on the Giants this season. Well, relatively speaking, anyway.

• Jaxson Dart is better than anything they have had at quarterback in a while.

• John Harbaugh, though basically the same guy as Mike McCarthy, is better than anything they have had as a head coach in a long time.

• The defensive line is good.

• They had a smart free agency, picking a few spots where they improved their roster, while not overspending on flawed players like the Commanders did.

• They have the fifth overall pick in the draft, and their buffoon GM probably won't have final say on who they select.

I think they finish second in the NFC East this season.

9) Vikings (9-8 in 2025): It was a tough year for the Vikings, who let Sam Darnold walk in free agency, only to watch him win a Super Bowl in Seattle. In the aftermath, they're left with three highly drafted quarterbacks who all stink.

• Kyler Murray: No. 1 overall pick, 2019
• Carson Wentz: No. 2 overall pick, 2016
• J.J. McCarthy: No. 10 overall pick, 2024

Maybe one of those guys can be the next Sam Darnold.

8) Bears (11-6 in 2025): The 2025 Bears were a major success, playing relevant football in January for the first time in a long time, and winning their first playoff game since the 2010 season.

Along the way, they were an extremely entertaining team to watch, as almost half of their games ended in wild fashion, with Chicago usually coming out on top.

They remind me of the 2024 Commanders, who also won an unsustainable number of tight games decided by a crazy play or two, somehow getting to the NFC Championship Game before obvious regression (and then some) caught up with them in 2025.

The Bears are as clear a regression candidate as there is in the NFL this season.

7) Buccaneers (8-9 in 2025): The Bucs' biggest strength is that the NFC South has been absolutely horrid the last half decade.

Last four years, NFC South teams in non-divisional games: 

• Buccaneers: 20-24 (0.455)
• Falcons: 18-26 (0.409)
• Saints: 16-28 (0.364)
• Panthers: 12-32 (0.273)

And, well, it probably will be bad again in 2026. The Bucs are still the best team in their awful division even after a down year.

6) 49ers (12-5 in 2025): The Niners beat a dysfunctional Eagles team in the playoffs in 2025 (someone had to win that game), before getting completely outclassed in the Divisional Round by the Seahawks.

Christian McCaffrey averaged 3.9 yards per carry in 2025, and still finished second in Offensive Player of the Year voting, lol. Ridiculous as that may have been, McCaffrey is still by far the Niners' most important player, and he had 450 touches last season. As history has shown, running backs who have that kind of wear and tear put on their bodies typically fall off significantly the next season.

The Niners will get a bunch of guys back from injury, but ultimately they are a distant third in the NFC West pecking order behind the Seahawks and Rams. 

5) Packers (9-7-1 in 2025): Perennial 7 seed. Talented but harmless until they show otherwise.

4) Lions (9-8 in 2025): The Lions had a little window there in which they were as talented as any other team in the NFL, and they didn't make it to a Super Bowl. They have since lost a bunch of good players, notably along their offensive line.

I still have them fourth because they have a lot of guys on offense who can make plays, like Jahmyr Gibbs, Amon-Ra St. Brown, Jameson Williams, and Sam LaPorta. 

They remain the most talented team in the NFC North, in my opinion, and I believe they'll have a bounce-back season.

3) Eagles (11-6 in 2025): I hate that I have the Eagles this high, after the product they put on the field offensively a season ago. But ultimately, their star-studded defense and legendary defensive coordinator give them a high floor that the teams below them don't have.

But certainly, after a down year, Jalen Hurts' play will be under the microscope in 2026 by the fans, media, and most importantly, the Eagles' decision makers. The Eagles are very much in "wait and see" mode with Hurts, who seems to face this type of adversity every other year.

About a week ago, we published a story about Eagles contract extension candidates, which included six players, none of whom were Hurts. Because, I mean, though there was plenty of blame to pass around for the Birds' terrible offense in 2025, why in the hell would the Eagles give the quarterback of that mess a raise when he has three years left on his already lucrative deal? It didn't occur to me to include him. I'm honestly surprised it's even a talking point. 

2) Rams (12-5 in 2025): Puka Nacua is an awesome receiver, but he has proven to be a total clown over the last 6 months or so. It will be interesting to see if / how much his idiocy off the field will turn into a downturn in play on the field. (It usually does to some degree when a player has as many off-field incidents as Nacua has lately.)

Nacua aside, Matthew Stafford is now 38 years old, and there's probably nowhere to go but down after he was the league's MVP in 2025. Also, WR2 Davante Adams will turn 34 during the season, and the Rams showed at least some lack of confidence in him when they explored a trade for A.J. Brown.

So, there's certainly evidence that the offense could experience some decline in 2026. However, their defense was already young and good, and they got better with the addition of Trent McDuffie.

1) Seahawks (14-3 🏆 in 2025): The Eagles (mostly) ripped through the playoffs in 2024 with a little scare from the Rams. The Seahawks did the same in 2025. They were flat-out awesome.

The Chiefs and Patriots were the last two franchises to repeat as Super Bowl champs. They both had quarterbacks in the conversation for greatest of all-time. So, that's one formula for winning back-to-back Lombardi trophies.

Sam Darnold had a storybook season in 2025, but he's not Tom Brady or Patrick Mahomes, obviously. It's a lot harder for those types of teams to repeat, as the Eagles learned in 2025 and the Seahawks likely will as well in 2026.

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