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July 15, 2015

10 reasons the Giants will be a dumpster fire this season

Eagles NFL
Eli Manning Julio Cortez/AP

Eli has needed hugs after 19 of his last 32 starts.

This week we're taking a look at each of the Eagles' divisional enemies, in detail. Yesterday, we blasted the Redskins. Today's target will be the New York Giants. To note, we will not be talking about the positives of any of the Eagles' NFC East rivals, because, well, that's no fun. This will be 100 percent vitriolic. Also to note, this will be published in the Eagles Almanac, which you can pre-order here.

1) Eli Manning was good last year

Statistically, 2013 was easily Eli Manning's worst season. A year later, statistically, 2014 was arguably Eli Manning's best season. So wait... Why is that a reason they'll be a dumpster fire in 2015? Well, going into any new year with the Giants, their prospects of a successful season ride on the play of Eli Manning. Last year he was really good, and they still sucked.

Also, Eli makes funny faces:

2) The Giants' safeties have never played football

OK, so they might have played in college or something, but they have next to no experience in the NFL. The Giants list seven safeties on their roster. Here is how many career snaps each of them have played (via PFF):

Giants safeties Career snaps played 
 Josh Gordy1457 
 Nat Berhe32 
 Cooper Taylor
 Landon Collins
 Mykkele Thompson
 Bennett Jackson
 Justin Currie

Gordy has been on four other rosters before landing with the Giants, mainly as a slot corner, but is the mentor of the group in terms of experience.

Landon Collins

It's a good thing the Giants won't face many good receivers this season. Oh wait...

WRs vs Giants

But wait, the Giants can offset the safeties' inexperience by getting to the QB, right? Except that...

3) Jason Pierre-Paul lost a finger

OK, so I'll be sensitive here. No stick figures. But still... JPP lost a freaking finger. The remaining Giants defensive ends, and their career sacks totals:

Player Career games played Career sacks 
Robert Ayers84 17 
 George Selvie68 13 
 Damontre Moore31 5.5 
 Kerry Wynn1.5 
 Brad Harrah
 Jordan Stanton
 TOTAL188 37 

In other words, the remaining Giants DEs get to the quarterback 0.196 times per game.

If I'm the Giants, and I know my job is secure long term, JPP is a goner and I'm carrying his $15 million over into next year's cap. However, with Tom Coughlin and Jerry Reese on the hot seat, they're probably looking at the "other" DEs on their roster and talking themselves into keeping JPP around a little longer.

4) Tom Coughlin hates modern medicine

The Giants have been the most injured team in the NFL over the last two years.

Giants injuries

You can call that bad luck. Maybe. Much has been made of the Eagles' #SportsScience program, and they were the least injured team in the NFL the last two years. Former Giants defensive back Walter Thurmond recently said that Tom Coughlin "doesn't believe in modern medicine." We'll call the Giants' program #SportsAntiVaccer.

I can understand why Jason Pierre-Paul wouldn't allow the Giants to visit him in the hospital. He didn't want Tom Coughlin telling him to rub some dirt on his hand.

Tom Coughlin injury

OK, so obviously, Thurmond went a little far with his "modern medicine" assessment, but there is certainly evidence to support the Giants' inability to stay healthy.

5) Will Beatty is out for the season

The Giants will be without starting LT Will Beatty for the season, after he tore his pectoral muscle lifting weights.

As a result, rookie first-round pick Ereck Flowers will be asked to start immediately at LT, and it was thought that Justin Pugh would slide back out to his previous spot at RT. However, Pugh's 32" arms were the shortest of any offensive tackle competing at the Combine since 1999.

As a result, Pugh and his T-Rex arms are better suited to move inside to guard.

Justin Pugh

Instead, it appears that Marshall Newhouse will fill in at RT. That could potentially severely hurt two positions along the Giants' OL.

6) The Giants have no OL continuity

If we're projecting a Giants starting OL of Ereck Flowers, Justin Pugh, Weston Richburg, Geoff Schwartz, and Marshall Newhouse, here is how much experience each guy has playing next to the guy to their left and right in regular season games:

• Snaps Flowers has played next to Pugh: 0

• Snaps Pugh has played next to Richburg: 0

• Snaps Richburg has played next to Schwartz: 0

• Snaps Schwartz has played next to Newhouse: 0

That's not good.

7) The Giants' run game stinks

A season ago, the Giants couldn't run the ball to save their lives. They averaged 3.57 yards per carry, which was 30th in the NFL, and had an NFL-low four rushes of over 20 yards.

Here are their backs heading into 2015, and their 2014 stats:

Player Att Yards YPC TD 
 Andre Williams217 721 3.3 
 Rashad Jennings167 639 3.8 
 Shane Vereen (w/Pats)96 391 4.1 
 Orleans Darkwa23 2.6 
 TOTAL489 1774 3.6 14 

Gross. By comparison:

Player Att Yards YPC TD 
 DeMarco Murray392 18454.7 13 

Orleans Darkwa sounds like a bad guy in a Star Wars movie, by the way.

Orleans Darkwa

8) Victor Cruz's numbers decline every year

Victor Cruz was amazing in his breakout season in 2011. But as his career has continued, his numbers have declined every season:

Year (Games) Rec Yards YPC 1st downs TD 
 2011 (16)82 1536 18.7 59 
 2012 (16)86 1092 12.7 52 10 
 2013 (14)73 998 13.7 45 
 2014 (6)23 337 14.7 13 

Cruz's career arc reminds me a little bit of Miles Austin's. After Austin's breakout (81-1320-11) 2009 season, the Cowboys handed him a six-year deal worth $54 million. His numbers steadily declined from there on out. In 2013, after his two good seasons, Cruz cashed in with a five-year deal worth $43 million, and has produced very little since.

Miles Austin and Victor Cruz

9) Odell Beckham Jr. sucks

Ha, just kidding.

But he does seem to be a chronic soft tissue guy, kind of like, um, Miles Austin.

10) Then again...

The Giants have stunk the last couple seasons, their coach is on the hot seat (again), and they've had a lot of nonsense happen this offseason (Beatty's injury, JPP's love of fireworks, and their punter running his mouth).

...which means some weird stuff will happen this year and they'll win the Super Bowl again.

Follow Jimmy on Twitter: @JimmyKempski