February 13, 2019
Celebrating Valentine's Day is tricky.
There are those cliches we need to avoid — red roses, drugstore chocolates, teddy bears — and there are anti-Valentines parties to ignore.
But admittedly, the romanticism of a handmade Valentine's card is not lost on me. I enter the Valentine's season walking the fine line between wearing green on Feb. 14 because I "forgot what day it is" and making glittery sardonic cards for the entire office. Like New Year's Eve, Halloween, and the Fourth of July, I think these overzealous holidays are some of the most fun to entertain. Yes, this is very post-ironic of me.
Celebrations come in all shapes and sizes, so this February I went in search of budding love here in Philly. I was pleasantly surprised to find the evidence I needed no farther than Craigslist. Amazingly, I even discovered that I know the subject of a missed connection. After all, in this age of the Internet, I knew better than to actually take to the streets to spot Cupid's arrow. Ever heard of Tinder?
So, I looked long and hard through missed connections this month to unearth the earnest, heartwarming, confounding, delightful, and least crude.
Some of these have been slightly altered due to profanity and to protect users' privacy.
Note: I included this genuine post because I'm imagining two older gentlemen who drive old-fashioned jalopies (I'm thinking "Comedian in Cars"). All they want is to take a drive together whilst smoking cigars and then settling before a roaring fireplace.
Note: This is proof that it is truly a special time of the year. After a thorough investigation, this was almost certainly written about a dear friend of mine. Hey, Jess! (She's not looking right now, sorry Craigslist poster.)
Note: Because this is art.
Note: OK, let's unpack this. You think that your girlfriend's best friend is interested in YOU because she laughs at your jokes and looks at you? And if she does happen to see this post, you want her to tell you what car she drives? Interesting.
Note: I enjoyed this post because it has the rhythm and ambiguity of a love poem. But then again, this could be another NSFW post that I do not understand. In conclusion, I do not understand this post.