September 02, 2016
“And I supposed you’re gonna give me guff about my Swastisnakes, too,” sighs Nazi Cop. “Yes, it’s these two snakes I tied together in the middle. Do the shape, guys! Do the shape, like I taught you! They did it the other day. Oh well. White power, Hitler's the best, yadda yadda yadda.”
“I guess you could call it a sting operation,” says bee. And yeah it’s kind of a stupid joke, but remember: Bees communicate by waggling their butts, so everything they say is a little funny.
“Looks like my dance card is filling up,” says Nazi Cop.
“Surge pricing,” explains regulator. “Next time try pooling your violations with other companies.”
“Know what? Now that this educator has announced his plan to not eat for a long time, we realize he is worthy of tenure after all. Solid argument. Sensible correlation. We are convinced. Hell, let's give him triple tenure.”
“Publishers? Oh, honey, you need this money more than I do.”
“There’s only one way out of this,” the report concludes. “The entire region needs to be denied tenure for like a year.”
“Aw man,” says baby alligator. “I was really looking forward to growing up and eating all these virgins.”
“You mean I put on all this grease for nothing?” asks Nazi Cop.