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August 21, 2017

Noted idiot Jake Paul performed in Philly last night

It was awful

Jake Paul, a famous butthole, performed in Philadelphia yesterday. It was awful.

For those (appropriately) unfamiliar with Paul, here's what you need to know: He was formerly very popular on the video sharing platform Vine before it shut down. The 20-year-old Ohio native continued to be unfunny on YouTube and actually scored a gig on a Disney channel show.

Paul's image as, at worst, an irritation took a bit of a tailspin in July when local news outlets began reporting about how he kept pissing off his neighbors in his Los Angeles neighborhood by being a jerk. 

According to KTLA, residents were upset Paul was performing obnoxious stunts at his home and in the streets and giving out his address, meaning hoards of teenage girls randomly flooded the community.

On one occasion, Paul put furniture in an empty pool and lit it on fire. One neighbor said Paul had turned the peaceful community into a “war zone.”

To top it all off, Paul essentially tormented the television reporter who broke the story. Watch:

So, once people started to realize Paul was a giant turd, he had a conniption, apparently becoming upset with people for calling him out for sucking. He released a diss track (which he claimed "isn't a diss track") that essentially told people he has, in fact, done some good things in his life.

I didn't go to Paul's live show at the TLA on South Street on Sunday evening. I did, however, find a 15-minute-long video of his performance.

I watched all of it. It's one of the worst things I've ever seen. Essentially, Paul and several other children play out a fantasy of being rappers in front of other children. At one point, I think he raps about eating fried chicken. In many cases, he doesn't even rap or sing at all, instead just pumping his arm up and down while a vocal track plays over the speaker.

Someone please explain his appeal to me.