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December 08, 2017

Stephen Colbert, Neil Patrick Harris roast Pa. lawmaker's 'heterosexual' touching complaint

Republican Pa. State Rep. Daryl Metcalfe created waves this week after interrupting a hearing to let everyone in the room (and in the nation, thanks to a camera put on earth for this exact reason) that he is not a gay man.

"I am a heterosexual," Metcalfe told Democratic Rep. Matt Bradford, who innocently placed a hand on Metcalfe's forearm during the House State Government Committee hearing on land use. 

"I have a wife. I love my wife. I don't like men, as you might, but don't—stop touching me all the time!"

An uncareful transcription of this hearing would actually show that Metcalfe said, "Don't stop touching me all the time!"

This whole awkward interaction was simply made for late night television. Two shows took a stab at putting Metcalfe's immature grandstanding on display for its stupidity.

First up, here's Stephen Colbert.

Next, we have Neil Patrick Harris filling in for Jimmy Kimmel.

Pennsylvania Democrats aren't kidding about Metcalfe's meltdown. A statement posted on the party's website recalls the representative's history of anti-gay and anti-immigrant stances and outright asks for him to resign.

"For years Metcalfe has taken policy positions based on bigoted misconceptions and fear of minority groups and the LGBT community, but today he has gone beyond the pale," said Democratic spokesman Brandon Cwalina. "We are again calling on Daryl Metcalfe to resign and to apologize to all Pennsylvanians for his ridiculously bigoted behavior."

In an exclusive interview with PennLive, Metcalfe claimed that he planned his mini-tirade because Bradford has allegedly barely touched him for months and refused to stop despite requests that he refrain.

"I think it's really hypocritical for anybody to try and say that I didn't have a right to say that I was a heterosexual in the process of letting him know that I don't appreciate his touch," Metcalfe said in the interview, building up an argument about the rights of all Americans not to be touched.

State Rep. Brian Sims, Pennsylvania's first openly gay lawmaker, could barely believe the entire episode: "Holy #$^%, this is real!"

"THIS is what dealing with Republicans in Pennsylvania has become," Sims wrote. "THIS is why they're attacking our youngest and most vulnerable members of the LGBT community. THIS is what a broken moral compass, combined with gerrymandered, false leadership looks like."