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December 12, 2016

Bernie bests Harambe, Putin, Embiid and 'Day Man' in review of Philly write-in votes

Sure, the stakes in last month’s presidential election were high, but they weren’t so high that Philadelphia voters steered away from writing in their choices in races from the White House to auditor general and everywhere in between.

Recount efforts meant the write-in vote list was delayed a bit more than usual, but on Monday, officials with the County Board of Elections made them available for PhillyVoice’s regular review.

While this batch of write-in votes seemingly adhered to the seriousness of the high-stakes election, there’s some pretty funny ones in there (as well as some patently offensive racist screeds that ended up getting voided by officials.)

A slew of voters wrote in their choice for president, as they weren’t keen on voting for Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton.

Leading the way among political write-ins was Bernie Sanders who, as of 2 p.m. Monday, was written in by 274 Philadelphia voters.

Trailing him were Evan McMullen (209), John Kasich (58), Mike Pence (31), Mitt Romney (20), Paul Ryan (16), Joe Biden (14), Ted Cruz (11, with misspellings like Cruise or Cruse included), Clinton (10), John McCain (9), Marco Rubio (6) and Rand Paul (6).

Getting four write-in votes each were Jeb Bush, Michael Bloomberg, Michelle Obama and Vermin Supreme.

Getting three write-in votes were Ben Carson, Ron Paul, Colin Powell and Jill Stein while Cory Booker, Lindsey Graham and Ralph Nader culled two votes each.

Among the political types getting one write-in vote for president were: George H.W. Bush, George W. Bush, Chris Christie, Russ Feingold, Carly Fiorina, Rudy Giuliani, John Huntsman, Abraham Lincoln, Condoleezza Rice, Elizabeth Warren and Jim Webb.

Voters also turned to cartoon characters for inspiration, including Batman, Bugs Bunny (for state treasurer), Elmo, Elmer Fudd, Oscar the Grouch, Kodos from “The Simpsons,” Minnie Mouse, Princess Mononoke and Shrek.

Leading the cartoon candidates were Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse. The former was written in for U.S. Senate, auditor general, attorney general and state representative from the 175th and 203rd districts. The latter received three votes for president, four for Bob Brady's U.S. Representative seat and one in each of the 173rd and 182nd legislative districts.

Fictional characters were also popular with voters. Noteworthy vote recipients include Selina Meyer (Julia Louis Dreyfus' character from the television show “Veep”), Tony Soprano (for Brady’s seat), John Galt from the novel “Atlas Shrugged,” Buckaroo Banzai and both Day Man and Night Man from “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.”

Musicians who received votes include GG Allin, Jimmy Buffett, J Cole, Metallica’s James Hetfield, Elton John, Phil Lesh, Marilyn Manson, Willie Nelson, Solange, Bruce Springsteen and Kanye West.

Local athletes who made write-in appearances include Joel Embiid (for every race on the ballot) and Carson Wentz. 

National sports figures include “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, Tom Brady, Hulk Hogan, Colin Kapernick, former Eagles coach Chip Kelly, Peyton Manning, NBA coach Gregg Popovich, retired broadcaster Vin Scully and, from the World Series Champion Chicago Cubs, manager Joe Maddon and players Kris Bryant, Dexter Fowler and David Ross.

Religion was on the minds of several write-in voters as Jesus received 12 votes for president, and single votes for auditor general, attorney general, state treasurer, U.S. Senate and in races in the First Congressional, and 175th and 182nd legislative districts. God got three votes for president and one in each the 1st and 182nd district races. Pope Francis received a vote for president.

Both Clinton and Trump were written in for a variety of non-presidential races, but other political or historical figures who received votes were Kathleen Kane (for her former attorney general seat), King Abdullah of Jordan, Shirley Chisholm, David Duke, Nelson Mandela, Monica Moorehead, Rosa Parks, former Chilean dictator Augusto Pinochet, Vladimir Putin (for Brady’s seat), Joseph Stalin and Mao Zedong.

Among the eye-catching miscellaneous write-in votes were:

• “Messenger Bike Bro” from U.S. Sen. Pat Toomey’s commercials

• Asteroid

• Edward Snowden

• Anonymous

• Ken Bone

• A Democrat who will destroy Islamic terrorists

• The People/Music

• Truth and Peace

• Peace

• Love

• Sacred Elephant

• Reparations Now

• Mumia Abu Jamal (for attorney general)

• Grapes

• Rosie O’Donnell

• “Carlos Danger”

• Harambe D---- Out

• Harambe

• Turd Sandwich

• Winnebago Man

• Phil My Pockets

• Hopefully an organism candidate in the future

• Dad Beat Reform Family Court

• Social Workers

• And protest votes including “Protest Vote,” No Confidence, Abolish the Office, Anybody but Brady, Anyone except Trump, Repeal Act 46, Taxation is Theft, F--- Boyle, and Anyone else Boyle is a bum.