July 01, 2023
This past week, all week long, we published 10 reasons each of the NFC East teams will be a dumpster fire in 2022, in which we pointed out the biggest flaws of each team heading into the season. In case you missed it, you can catch up here:
🔥 DUMPSTER FIRE SERIES 🔥
As it does every year this series drew a lot of emails, and as usual Giants fans were the whiniest of the bunch. Interestingly, a year ago after an extremely embarrassing season in 2021, they ceased defending their team (relatively speaking) and I actually got some positive feedback from those guys/gals. But after getting back to the playoffs and actually winning a playoff game, Giants fans' typing finger beer muscles are back.
Anyway, the following is a collection of the emails/DMs that I received, with spelling grammar left unedited, but some of the bad words starred out.
Fan affiliation: Giants
Subject line: Giants dumpster fire
Body of the email: I read your article on the Giants being a dumpster fire this year. You certainly are entitled to your opinion as am I. I've never met an Eagle fan in the 45 years I followed the Giants who has had a single brain cell. You are all f****** MORONS and watching you lose every year you made the playoffs was better then watching my Giants win 3 Superbowls. The fans are disgusting and your article caters to them.
Good luck this year A hole.
#JimmyNote: This dude emailed me from his work account, with a full set of contact information. He is a managing partner at a Manhattan law firm, lol.
I responded by asking who he billed that hour to, which he thought was funny, and now we're friends. He proposed that if the Giants win a Super Bowl with Daniel Jones, I have to post a picture of myself in a Giants jersey on my website, and if the Eagles win a Super Bowl with Jalen Hurts, he has to post a picture of himself in an Eagles jersey on his.
Because I'm a BIG J journalist and do not have a dog in the fight, I do not benefit in any way from him posting a picture of himself in an Eagles jersey. I instead proposed that if the Giants win it all with Jones as the starting quarterback I'll donate $500 to a charity of his choosing, and he has to donate $500 to a charity of mine if the Eagles win with Hurts. That way perhaps some underprivileged folks can benefit from a dumb email fight. He accepted this counteroffer.
Fan affiliation: Giants (Brian)
Subject line: You are a dumpster fire as a writer. Probably some Philadelphia idiot sewer rat who voted for John Fetterman. Saw great potential, no doubt. That, by the way, is a dumpster fire.
Body of email: (Empty)
My response to Brian: Just as a heads up, the subject line of the email is for a brief summation of what your email is about. What you’re actually writing in the email goes in the body of the email, Boomer.
Brian (this time in the body of the email): That's all it was, and you're not worth more than a brief summation, you f****** illiterate, brain dead Millennial. I fear for the future of the world.
Me: Hey, you’re learning! Good job, Brian.
Brian: Hey, I'm so glad you approve, you pedantic a**h***. You have email protocol down pat - now, if you could only learn to write! By the way, I don't know where you get the idea that attacking my age is an effective insult, or that I care in the least about your tiresome, indoctrinated opinion on anything, other than your imbecilic thoughts and predictions on the potential of the Giants, and only then because some idiot saw fit to allow you to make your views public, when it's quite clear you should never pass up an opportunity to keep your mouth shut.
Me: I have no idea how old you are lol. All I know is that you clearly have nothing better to do than email sportswriters.
Brian: And no, you don't know my age, but if you refer to someone as a Boomer, you are making a comment on that person's age, and I'm amazed that's apparently not understood by you. You also have no idea what better things I have to do than respond to sportswriters. As it happened, I responded once, and only briefly in the subject line, and you are the one who keeps writing back. You, on the other hand, really don't have anything better to do than write sports articles, which would be ok if you weren't an idiot. Let me teach you about accountability for your idiocy. As you pushed the matter, I will continue comment on Twitter about how your predictions fare as the season plays out.
Me: "You are the one who keeps writing back," Brian said, and he furiously wrote back. Let’s see what kind of self-control you have. I challenge you not to write back to this.
Brian: You wrote an imbecilic article to the general public, and I wrote a critical email to you. That was the initial email. Then YOU wrote an email to me in response. and, though you are an illiterate, that is what's meant by "writing back." Again, this shouldn't be difficult to comprehend, but you seem to have trouble with simple definitions.
Brian: Can you teach me to write dumbass Millennial acronyms, so I can be cool like you?
Fan affiliation: Cowboys
Subject line: Moron
Body of the email: How many Super Bowl wins does Dallas have compared to say Philly Suxs.talk s*** is good for the soul a**h***
#JimmyNote: I don't know what "talk s*** is good for the soul a**h***" is supposed to mean.
Fan affiliation: Giants (Robert)
Subject line: Giants Dumpster Fire 10 Reasons
Body of the email: Love reading your articles! Since you’ve never gotten anything right about the Giants in many years, I take solace knowing the 10 reasons they will succeed!! Keep up the Giant insights, your only fan!
#JimmyNote: Sick burn, Robert.
Fan affiliation: Cowboys
Subject line: Hi Jimmy
Body of the email: Wow, just wow can’t believe someone of your intellect has the opportunity to troll the cowboys. Must be like Christmas every day for you.. clown.
First off you Pigeon fans are straight DELUSIONAL. Yall wanted to BURY Hurts at the begging of last season and now with one “good” season not great mind you just good and yall delusional pigeon fans claim he’s the “Best in the NFC” f****** joke. Bet you didn’t know this years stats are comparable to Daks “ Rookie” season mind you and our fan base isn’t that delusional to call Dak best in the NFC. Plus you want to dub the cowboys a losing franchise. Huh so the boys have been to the playoffs 66 times and won 36 times ( second most in NFL history Buddy) , while your Pigeons went 46 times won 22 times and lost 24, so but my math y’all have a losing percentage in the playoffs. And that’s with your team being established by 1933 while the boys were established in the 1960’s . And they boys have 5 titles to show for it while y’all limp d**** have one. Love when writers want to push a narrative and screw facts to fit them….just love it. No be a good little boy and go throw snow balls with batteries at Santa.
#JimmyNote: The Super Bowl count stuff from Cowboys fans just doesn't hit like it used to when the Eagles had none and the Cowboys hadn't gone a quarter century without appearing in the NFCCG.
Fan affiliation: Giants
Subject line: (Empty)
Body of the email: Nice article on my Giants calling us a dumpster fire? Here is an idea…worry about your own team and not mine! Show some respect! I feel the Eagles are winning it all yet you trash my team? Go away!
#JimmyNote: This poor guy had Mets and Giants in his aol email address. $350+ million payroll and they're going to miss the playoffs.
Fan affiliation: Commanders
Subject line: (Empty)
Body of the email: Ypur braindead HTTR
Fan affiliation: Unknown
Subject line: Your a dumpster fire
Body of the email: Coming form someone who makes stick figures
#JimmyNote: I mean, they're going to put my kid through college. 🤷♂️
Fan affiliation: Giants (Kyle, via Twitter DM)
Kyle: Hey Kempski, was that article about the giants Satire? I’ve never seen a more biased hot trash piece of reporting in my life.
Me: Hi Kyle. Thanks for reading! I’m curious where you disagree. Any specific points that you feel are wrong?
Kyle: (Super long, super boring response that I will never read.)
Kyle (3 days later): Anything to retort? Or is your article just blatant lies/you didn’t know enough about the subject matter you were speaking on?
Kyle: Jackass. Let me sun it up. You don’t know squat about anything that goes on outside of the godforesaken city of Philadelphia.
Subject line: Cowboys will be a dumpster fire
Body of the email: Seriously question your knowledge of football as a writer. Answer me these questions:
Who is the best qb the eagles beat in the playoffs? No one better than Tom Brady.
#JimmyNote: “The Eagles have never beaten a quarterback better than the best player ever” is a quality rebuttal. Also, it's funny to me that he typed "Cowboys will be a dumpster fire" in the subject line, like he's making a declarative statement.
I should give special mention to 49ers fans. I received about a half dozen emails from them about the children's book we published about their loss in the NFCCG, and they were all positive.
My official "Full Diaper Power Rankings" this year: