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July 01, 2017

A collection of hate mail from our dumpster fire series

This past week, all week long, we published 10 reasons each of the NFC East teams will be a dumpster fire in 2017, in which we pointed out the biggest flaws of each team heading into the season. In case you missed it, you can catch up here:

DUMPSTER FIRE SERIES: Cowboys | Giants | Redskins | Eagles

The series drew a lot of angry emails, as it does every year. By far and away, the whiniest of the bunch were Giants fans, followed by the Cowboys, and then the Eagles. The overwhelming response from Redskins fans was, "Yep, that's about right."

Anyway, we'll post some of the better emails here for your enjoyment. I remain stunned by the level of illiteracy in this country. We'll leave grammar and spelling errors unedited:

Why don't you sit your negative ass down some where ...what was the point of the article really ? Let us fan enjoy the season. It can't be no worse then last year .

- Eagles fan (I think)

You are full of your self and when I look at your picture I can see that you have never played football  at all sorry for you I'll email you again when my boys win the super bowl this. good luck to you and having to repeat your article about the five time. Super bowl champs sincerely Dallas cowboys for life

- Cowboys fan (obviously)

But the Eagles are great and have won Super Bowls. Worry about your own team before going down the turnpike. You gotta love Philly fans...

- Giants fan, I think, who probably meant "up the Turnpike."

Of course a Philly fan to do a Cowboy sport talk. You suck!👅

- Female Cowboys fan, who is either flirting with me, or bashing me. Can't tell.

Journalist you are not seek another profession..please for the world's  sake.Understand that?Take care.

- Yoda, evidently

Sent from my LG Mobile green writing the answer is what is a philly beat writer?wishing and hoping hoping and dreaming .Your article is hilarious thanks i needed that rotflmao!

- Unsure of this fan's affiliation, but good God

Subject: 5 reasons you are a douchebag

> 1) You live in Philly
> 2) You write for the Eagles
> 3) You root for the Eagles
> 4) You went to Rowan University
> 5) You actually look like a douchebag

> You can attack Eli and the Giants all you want. The fact of the matter is your sorry ass team has NEVER won a Superbowl and frankly, there is not a single player on that team who is even worthy of wiping Eli's ass.  Maybe some day you can enjoy watching Carson puke on the field during a Superbowl. 

- Giants fan, obviously

#JimmyNote: This guy researched me to some degree, as it's not immediately apparent from my bio or anywhere else that I went to Rowan University. Otherwise, points 1, 2, and 3 are incorrect. Point 5 is like, his opinion, man.

Additionally, this genius is actually a lawyer in New York City who sent this from his company email address.

Your a f king (moron)! Just everything you mention about the Giants. You sound like a whiny bitter fan! It's ok I remember in 07 and 11 everybody was saying those same sentiments that you just pointed out. Shit! If you want to talk about weak OL!? Take a good gander at the Eagles. Your pigeons got more troubles than a hookers carrying diseases. Just face the facts Jim bob! Eagles will never reach super bowl heights! The football gods has curse your philly white trash

- Giants fan

#JimmyNote: This guy's email address was also his phone number.

 I assume you trash the NY Giants because they're a rival of the Philly Eagles But this trash opinion piece is just that A rude editorial written by a sour person Before you write about how bad you think the Giants are Look at your joke of a team People with glass houses shouldn't throw stones Your beloved eagles are horrible They choke every season No matter the coach the quarterback the offense or the defense So son take your pen to paper and right fact rather than fiction and trash It's embarrassing for you and the publication you churned this out for Don't bother responding I don't accept emails from sour sore sports fans 

- Female Giants fan who has not heard of commas or periods

I see ur talking about the cowboys because the eagles always seem 2 disappoint their fans each n every time u shouldn't worry about them boys just stay focused on the sorry ass eagles

- Cowboys fan

And finally, this is my favorite one. I interacted with this guy, and I'll post the interaction in its entirety: 

Giants fan: Your an idiot. The eagles will finish 7-9. When was the last title you won? Lol get a clue.

Me: *You're

Giants fan: Thanks for the English lesson. I speak both Greek and Hebrew and you. Also a PhD in theology please don't try and play intellectual gymnastics with me. Have a nice day.

Me: You also contact complete strangers via email, and then brag about your self-perceived intellect. So there's that too.

Giants fan: Your in the public eye friend. It must be painful being an eagles fan. I understand. But your right we shall see. Who's your quarterback again lol. Anyway enjoy the off season when everyone thinks they have a chance especially Philly fans. Who knows you might win the preseason.

Me: *You're

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