June 12, 2020
The last two days saw the Phillies add four new players via the MLB Draft. And while the jury is still out (and will be out for years) on whether the organization made the right decisions, there is a singular conclusion that can be made looking at the names of the newest prospects in the team's system: they are really, really cool.
In the first round they took high school pitcher Mick Abel, a player whose name sounds like he's some kind of epic pro wrestler. After adding Casey Martin — a player with a name that could just as easily be a movie stars' — they added Carson Ragsdale (a country music singer?) and Baron Radcliff (a movie villain?).
No idea if any of these guys can play, but the Phillies definitely get an A for picking players with great names pic.twitter.com/nDIOo7rlUa
— Franzke & LA (@FranzkeLA) June 12, 2020
Naturally, we wanted to see if we could find better ones. So we combed through the archives of nearly every player in this city's history. We initially wanted to make a list of, well, 10 or so funny names but there were just so many. So, so many.
Please, enjoy the names below — all of them factual — of athletes who have appeared in at least one game with one of the four major city franchises:
Walter Ambercrombie, RB (1988)
Neill Armstrong, DB (1947-51)
Ephesians Barley, LB (1992)
Bibbles Bawell, DB (1952, 1955-56)
Winnie Baze, RB, (1937)
John Booty, DB (1991-92)
Topper Clemens, RB (1987)
Claude Crabb, DB (1964-65)
King Dunlap, OT (2009-12)
Nip Felber, OE (1933)
Dallas Goedert, TE (2018-present)
Elmer Hackney, RB (1940)
Joselio Hansen, DB (2006-11)
Dick Hart, G, (1967-70)
Proverb Jacobs, OT, (1958)
Rabbit Keen, QB (1937-38)
Jack Knapper, RB (1934)
Cre'Von LeBlanc, DB (2018-present)
Eggs Manske, OE (1935-36)
Dick Riffle, RB (1938-40)
Takeo Spikes, LB (2007)
Halapoulivaati Vaitai, OT (2016-19)
Prince Tega Wanogho, OT (2020-present)
Grover Cleveland Alexander, P (1911-17, 1930)
Boom-Boom Beck, P (1939-43)
Chief Bender, P (1916-17)
Putsy Caballero, 3B (1944-45, 47-52)
Choo Choo Coleman, C (1961)
Kiddo Davis, CF (1932, 34)
Pickles Dillhoefer, C (1918)
Klondike Douglass (1898-1904)
Bill Duggleby, P (1898, 1901-07)
Rags Faircloth, P (1919)
Frank Figgemeier, P (1894)
Hilly Flitcraft, P (1942)
Peaches Graham, C (1912)
Broadway Jones, P (1923)
Nippy Jones 1B (1952)
Thornton Kipper, P (1953-55)
Nap Lajoie, 2B (1896-1900)
Peanuts Lowrey, RF (1955)
Stuffy McInnis, 1B (1927)
Bitsy Mott, SS (1945)
Moon Mullen, 2B (1944)
Skeeter Newsome, SS (1946-47)
Dickie Noles (1979-81, 1990)
Dink O'Brien C (1923)
Shadow Pyle, P (1884)
Schoolboy Rowe, P (1943, 1946-49)
Phenomenal Smith, P (1890-91)
Tuck Stainback, OF (1938)
Lil Stoner, P (1931)
Cannonball Titcomb, P (1886)
Woody Wagenhorst, 3B (1888)
Dick Whitman, CF (1950-51)
Possum Whitted, LF (1915-1919)
John Wockenfuss, 1B (1984-85)
Dick Cherry, D (1968-70)
Reg Fleming, LW (1969-70)
Larry Goodenough, D (1974-77)
Shayne Gostisbehere, D (2014-present)
Forbes Kennedy, C (1967-69)
Kirby Law, RW (2000-01, 02-04)
Paul Lawless LW (1987-88)
Antero Niittymaki, G (2003-09)
Andreas Nodl, RW (2008-12)
Johnny Oduya, D (2017-18)
Pete Peeters, G (1978-82, 98-91)
Darren Rumble, D (1990-91, 1995-97)
Garth Snow, G (1995-98)
Dave Snuggerud, LW (1992-93)
Tim Tookey, C (1986-87)
Alaa Abdelnaby, F (1994-95)
Able Forrest, G (1956-57)
John Block, F (1972-73)
Speedy Claxton, G (2001-02)
Mel Counts, F (1972-73)
World B. Free, G (1975-78, 86-87)
Royel Ivy (2008-10, 2012-13)
Dick Knostman, C (1953-54)
Manny Leaks, C (1972-73)
Shake Milton, G (2018-present)
Eric Money, G (1978-80)
Paul Neumann, G (1961-65)
Nerlens Noel, C (2014-17)
Red Rocha, C (1951-53, 1954-56)
Jim Spanarkle, G (1979-80)
Jarvis Varnado, G (2013-14)
Perry Warbington, G (1974-75)
Chris Welp, C (1987-89)
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