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May 22, 2019

Hilarious dating profile admits belief Sixers got name from Schuylkill Expressway

Dating Sixers
76ers I-76 Hinge dating Courtesy/Sixers

The Philadelphia 76ers playoff logo includes a snake to symbolize Benjamin Franklin's famed "Join, Or Die" editorial cartoon urging colonies to unite in the formation of the country. The team's name is a clear and direct reference to the Declaration of Independence in 1776.

There's nothing fun about writing a dating profile in the age of swiping, which effectively reduced everyone to a half-second look at a photo, an age and a one-liner (The biology major writes, "I'm a bio major so I should be better at this," etc.).

In the event that people actually do read carefully through profiles, it's good practice not to make yourself look like too much of a fool.

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The Philadelphia 76ers are, as we know, a professional basketball team. Since they play in the city of Philadelphia, it's logical that their name would reflect some important aspect of Philadelphia's identity. That's not always the case with team names. There aren't many Jaguars in Jacksonville, but when you see the Detroit Pistons or the Green Bay Packers, it's easy to connect the historical dots.

One person on the dating app Hinge seems to have lived at least 18 years believing the 76ers were named after Interstate 76 — possibly the most despised roadway in the region. #IfSocialMediaDidntExist

This is kind of a travesty, even if you aren't a maven of patriotism. The Philadelphia 76ers' name is a reference to the year the Declaration of Independence was signed — in Philadelphia in 1776 — and is arguably the most obvious sports franchise name across all four major leagues. Someone who knows nothing about sports would presumably be able to put that together if they paid attention to a history lesson in second grade. 

But to then think that a city's basketball team was named for the number assigned to a road that's more commonly referred to as the Schuylkill Expressway makes this even more ridiculous.

To the person who wrote this, man or woman, please try to discover something new as soon as possible, like the fact that Philly doesn't have a WNBA team, and the 95ers isn't taken. 

To those who assume it's a woman, just keep in mind that one in three Philadelphia men appears shirtless in his dating profile picture, while another 37 percent of men wear cargo shorts. A man doesn't even have to say anything to look like an idiot.