July 16, 2025
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The quality of mothers' relationships with their children tends to grow after widowhood, but this does not buffer the loneliness of losing her spouse, according to a new study.
Having strong relationships with one's children does not buffer the loneliness experienced after the loss of a spouse, according to a new study.
The research, published Monday, took an in-depth look at loneliness patterns in the wake of people losing spouses and also examined how widowhood impacts parent-child relationships. The researchers distinguished between emotional loneliness — missing an intimate attachment — and social loneliness — missing a wider social network.
Emotional loneliness was stronger and lasted over a seven-year period, "indicating that increases are not transitory but enduring," the researchers wrote. They also found that mothers, but not fathers, strengthened bonds with their children after losing their spouses – but the increased closeness did not mitigate loneliness.
Men showed a "moderate increase" in social loneliness after their spouses died, perhaps because women are more likely to have relationships outside of marriage that offer emotional support, according to the study.
"The enduring elevation in emotional loneliness after widowhood, combined with the delayed rise in social loneliness, underscores the lasting challenges faced by surviving spouses," the researchers wrote. "The findings highlight the limited capacity of parent-child relationships to fill the emotional void left by a deceased partner."
The researchers analyzed data about social relationships and well-being among people age 40 and over. The data was collected between 1996 and 2022 as part of a long-term study in Germany. Of the more than 5,000 study participants, 475 became widows during the study period.
To gauge emotional loneliness, researchers asked people to rate their level of agreement with statements like "I miss the pleasure of the company of others" and "I miss emotional security and warmth." To measure social loneliness, the researchers used statements like "There are many people I can trust completely" and "There are plenty of people I can rely on when I have problems." Parents also answered questions about how often they saw or spoke to their children.
The researchers acknowledged that strong relationships between parents and children prior to widowhood were more likely to strengthen after losing a spouse and vice versa.
Also, the researchers noted that people with strong parent-child relationships may be more likely to participate in surveys than those with weaker relationships with their children. Additionally, the study did not include people who lived in nursing homes.
