July 11, 2019
Philadelphia's professional sports teams have a rich mascot tradition, from the inimitable Phillie Phanatic to the Eagles' Swoop, and even the recently-adored Gritty.
The newest addition to its pantheon of fuzzy sports things is Phang, the blue snake who roots for MLS's Union. He was introduced in September, to some mild fanfare.
The Union don't get a ton of love, because they play in Chester and have yet to win a home playoff game in their nine-plus seasons of existence. But they're currently in first place in MLS's Eastern Conference, and now they're hiring someone to work as Phang.
You can read the full job listing for Philadelphia Union Mascot here, but basically the team is (unsurprisingly) looking for someone who is "energetic and entertaining" to fill the position.
(The application also says the mascot will need to "properly (represent) organization in a professional manner at all times" even though Phang was recently seen smashing a car in Center City. Hmm.)
It appears the job isn't actually the mascot who appears at games, but rather someone who can "fulfill appearance requests around the community."
The listing also needs applicants to have previous mascot experience, and a "knowledge of soccer and basic soccer skills", which is funny because Phang can't possibly communicate its opinion on the 4-3-3 to fans.
Applicants will need to fit specific measurements, in order to fit into the costume: no shorter than 5 feet, 8 inches tall, no taller than 6 feet tall, and somewhere between 140 and 200 pounds.
Whatever happened to the last community engagement Phang, we wish them luck in their new endeavors.
I always wonder what it's like when someone who worked as a mascot applies for a new job. That discussion is probably unusual: "Yes, I spent my last year jumping around in Chester while dressed as a blue snake. Yes, I understand those skills aren't transferrable."
In any case, this would probably be a fun job.