November 23, 2018

Here's a cart full of the most hilarious Black Friday tweets

By PhillyVoice staff

RawPixel/on Unsplash

Shopping on Black Friday apparently means throwing punches – or taking punches. (Maybe we should rename it Black-and-blue Friday?) We'd like to think that the great shopping mall body count of 2018 will end up a small percentage of the total number of shoppers who ventured out on the day after Thanksgiving.

But one thing is for certain: Twitter was having a ball on Friday morning and the perception of violent shopping was a popular theme.

Here's some of the most hilarious posts on Twitter – both from people on the front lines (and in the long lines) of retail, and those who stayed home in bed. And at the end, we collected a few NSFW tweets on Black Friday.

Watching parents take their newborn children into ULTA at 730 in the morning on Black Friday pic.twitter.com/KWBo3b1dGy
— Emily Dunmire (@emTdizzle) November 23, 2018

Rocky on Black Friday pic.twitter.com/4PvcPCn4hE
— Ready Training (@ReadyTraining) November 23, 2018

This is the bag I like to carry on Black Friday! pic.twitter.com/XabravRFcW
— Operation 36 (@Op36Golf) November 23, 2018

#RTovertime I’m heading to Bestbuy to see how many assholes decide to open carry on Black Friday.
— Ted Smith (@Tedshred8436) November 23, 2018

Random useless fact of the day #6: More People Die While Shopping on Black Friday than in Shark Attacks. #BlackFriday2018 #TheMoreYouKnow #funfact
— LoveKelevra (@Lovekelevra1) November 23, 2018

thoughtful for Amazon to put up an antifa starter pack on black friday pic.twitter.com/PwAuKlVEGv
— Colm! (@0x0454) November 23, 2018

Please be careful out there guys...rumor has it that soccer moms triple in strength on Black Friday
— Trayce🌹 (@GrayTrayce) November 23, 2018

Only got in a fight with one person on Black Friday, and it was a four-year-old, and it was over a Sephora bag. #thriving pic.twitter.com/1rQJ3CJOIz
— Andrew Pardue (@ABPardue) November 23, 2018

Black Friday, Walmart style. Why America...why? #BlackFriday pic.twitter.com/Zaz0hikkW2
— Lloyd Legalist (@LloydLegalist) November 23, 2018

Thanks to @USMC for keeping us safe while we go to the mall on Black Friday and punch each other in the face for video game. https://t.co/XcDpJ7vo8E
— Carl Ruiz (@carlruiz) November 23, 2018

Your mom was choke-slamed today at the shops as she was out on black Friday grabbing a few things, but don't worry she is fine and won't say anything.
— HITCH (@CraigMotha) November 23, 2018

I would even go on Black Friday if they had this. pic.twitter.com/Q11cJsxa4C
— Corey Z (@zoubek3) November 23, 2018

I swear the only reason I would fight someone on Black Friday would be because EVERYONE FORGETS THEIR MANNERS.

Now let's say them together!

Please
Thank you
EXCUSE ME
— 🌹⛓Miss.C⛓🌹 (@ravepixie613) November 23, 2018

Thanksgiving is a solid holiday. Getting arrested on Black Friday ain’t too bad either cause I’ve been booked, processed & saw a judge before 9:30 due to my little Walmart skirmish
— Bobby O’Shea (@troyoleary1999) November 23, 2018

satan works hard but starbucks employees on black friday work harder
— sydney (@sydneypressley_) November 23, 2018

I went to Target on Black Friday. I’m braver than a US Marine
— 🐍Jackie🐍 (@JackieCardno) November 23, 2018

I ain’t never seen nobody act a fool on Black Friday I must b hittin the wrong spots
— 🦋JΣNΔΨ🦋 (@JenayCatherine_) November 23, 2018

I'd rather let a red-headed kid sneeze in my mouth than go shopping on Black Friday.
— Jenny Johnson (@JennyJohnsonHi5) November 22, 2018

Do people who get up at 4:00 am to shop
on Black Friday know about Amazon ?
— A Shot of Steve™ ⚡️ (@SteveKoehler22) November 21, 2018

Mugshot for when I get arrested for fighting bitches on Black Friday pic.twitter.com/3xeljUELaI
— Kiara Lopez (@klopez304) November 20, 2018

me working crowd control in electronics on black friday at target pic.twitter.com/4wM7v4yrHt
— -_______- (@joycekittyxo) November 21, 2018

Can’t wait to shoplift on Black Friday I’m so excited yay
— 💛 (@jiiroux) November 20, 2018

For the good of humanity.. :D#BlackFriday2018 pic.twitter.com/prc74CHCQf
— Baker of Burnt Pizzas (@TheCrawdaddy) November 23, 2018

And now just a few of the NSFW tweets about Black Friday:

woke up at 9 am on Black Friday because fuck consumerism om the ass with the most prickly cactus in the world
— (((titandude21))) (@titandude21) November 23, 2018