May 10, 2016
Explained its branding firm’s creative director, "We thought nothing was more iconic than Budweiser and nothing was more iconic than America."
Budweiser is horrible.
I hate Budweiser.
So now – through the end of an election cycle that’s stoked rage-fueled fires unlike anything I’ve seen since being born three years before the bicentennial – I hate America.
Apparently, I’m not alone.
Budweiser changing its name to America is either a hoax or the most pathetic pandering by a corporation we'll ever see. Life is a bad sketch— Payman Benz (@PaymanBenz) May 10, 2016
As soon as Budweiser changes its name, Donald Trump's campaign slogan will change to "Make America Drinkable Again."— Dirk Langeveld (@DirkLangeveld) May 10, 2016
Budweiser renamed its beer AMERICA which isn't nice cuz I've never thought of the US as the watered down, tasteless version of Canada.— Paul Bae (@MrPaulBae) May 10, 2016
Budweiser has changed its name to "America." Bud Light, however, will still be going by its given name, "Urine."— Matt Barnette (@MattBarnette) May 10, 2016
I don't even know what the point of satire is anymore https://t.co/5SQMzLDRfe— Bethlehem Shoals (@freedarko) May 10, 2016
Some people think this move is emblematic of marketing genius, a branding effort meant to tap into ‘Murican patriotism.
They are wrong.
At best, it’s a presumptuous push to drain money from the low end of the intelligence bell curve; at worst, it’s political war profiteering.
If Budwesier is America, America is a bland, formulaic entity that’s far less fulfilling than most countries in the world.
If Budweiser is America, you’ll get a debilitating dayslong headache after consuming just 12 ounces of it.
If Budweiser is America, diplomats of the globe's non-beer-named nations should stockpile Imodium A-D before negotiating with America.
If Budweiser is America, you’ll have to pee within 20 seconds of setting foot on her mighty shores.
If Budweiser if America, baseball fans in the city where its company was founded may call themselves the best in the game, but they most certainly are not.
If Budweiser is America, America is an entitled bully who thinks nobody’ll notice it’s actually based in the tiny European nation whose soccer team knocked the real America’s squad out of the 2014 World Cup.
If Budweiser is America, America thinks it’s OK to erect fences as a way to keep locals out of a music festival held on public land along the Ben Franklin Parkway.
If Budweiser is America, I’m no longer American.
So, you know what, go ahead and elect an orange guy to be your next president. Your death date's already etched into your tombstone.