May 01, 2018
Logan Paul, insensitive doofus and brother to noted idiot Jake Paul, is ending his daily vlogs. Choirs of angels sing and the world rejoices in unison.
Logan Paul announced his decision in a final vlog Sunday. He throws a plate, violently shakes the camera, something something about sketch comedy. He then explains that he has "diversified" and announces that Logan Paul, and only Logan Paul, will decide when to end his career.
The rest of the 16-minute video is him picking up a car and driving it. Four million people watched it. Four. Million.
It should be explicitly noted that when Logan Paul mentions how YouTube almost ended his career, what he's referring to is the occasion he filmed a dead body in a Japanese forest known as a place where people frequently went to commit suicide (and laughed about it).
On the same trip, he terrorized the country with his offensive antics, which included throwing a giant Pokeball at police and shoving a dead fish in people's faces.
This new chapter soon included jokes about swallowing Tide Pods and a vlog in which he pulled a koi fish out of a pond and pretended to give it CPR and tased a dead rat, indicating that he had learned very little. Once again, YouTube temporarily suspended ads on his channel.
Apparently, the vlogs will continue in some capacity, just not regularly. I would like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that if you're looking for mindless, sophomoric laughs on YouTube, you can just watch those farting prank videos instead of enduring the Paul brothers' abhorrent behavior.