May 28, 2018
Breaking up is hard to do.
But there are appropriate places and ways to do it. For example, if you're going to break up with someone, it's best to do it in private. And if you're going to do it in public, maybe try and keep it as low-key as possible.
Well, a couple at Friday night's Phillies game did the exact opposite. Not only did they do it at a freaking baseball game, but they were so dang loud that Toronto Blue Jays pitcher John Axford could hear them from the visiting team's bullpen.
Dear couple that clearly broke up while standing near our bullpen in the 5th inning today,— John Axford (@JohnAxford) May 26, 2018
Lovely entertainment for a few minutes, but we hope you’re ok. Feel free to come back tomorrow and discuss with us. We can provide the third party point of view!
The Jays bullpen!
Axford offered to talk them through it during one of the two remaining games in the series. But apparently, they never showed up.
*UPDATE*— John Axford (@JohnAxford) May 27, 2018
They never came back!!!☹️
We, in the bullpen, assume they’re somewhere between the Bargaining and Depression stages of grieving.
We recommend escaping in a good movie alone. Let the tears out. Then surround yourself with friends. Acceptance soon awaits.
Axford's tweets are pretty funny. But again, I can not stress enough that, if you're going to end a relationship, a baseball game is not the proper venue to do it.
Unless, of course, your significant other proposes to you on the big screen but you're not ready for it. In that case, feel free to end things right then and there.