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October 13, 2015

Did Philip Rivers punch a bird on national TV?

Twitter went haywire on Monday night when folks thought the Chargers quarterback assaulted a bird. It was really a glove, some say. I choose not to believe them

NFL Whimsy

Thanks to a last-second, 1-yard touchdown on Monday Night Football, the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the San Diego Chargers 24-20. Blah, blah, blah. Whatever.

That wasn't the most important thing that happened during the game. This wasWith just over eight minutes remaining in the fourth quarter, Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers hit Antonio Gates on an 11-yard touchdown pass. 

Then, the cameras caught him doing this:

For those of us who weren't watching the game -- but were watching Twitter -- the narrative became "OMG, did you see Philip Rivers just punch a bird out of mid-air?"

And, I'll tell you what: It was amazing. You had this guy facing off against a Michael Vick-led team, ostensibly doing what Mr. Miyagi did with chopsticks to a tiny fly on a national stage. Sure, empathy kicked in some worry about that poor little bird, but it was still a remarkable story.

Well, it was a remarkable story until a bunch of killjoy spoilsports pointed out that, yo, that wasn't a bird at all; it was a glove, you morons.

The pushback was ugly but ineffective insofar as I refuse to believe their account of the event. Facts are facts, but whimsical fantasies do have a place in this world. So, despite evidence to the contrary, I will hold firm in my beliefs that lead to tweets like this:

If I can still sit here saying that the Cubs are going to win the World Series in a couple weeks, what's the harm in pretending an arrogant NFL quarterback cast aside any sense of morality and punched a harmless bird that made the mistake of flying too close to his gloveless hand?

None. No harm at all.