November 03, 2026
Bill Streicher/IMAGN IMAGES via Reuters Connect
Nick Sirianni and the Eagles are cooked.
Week 8 of the 2026 NFL season is in the books, and there were a couple of heavyweight tilts between the Lions and Vikings as well as the Bears and Seahawks. But more importantly, we have our second obituary... The Philadelphia Eagles!
In the first two weeks of the Eagles' wretched 2026 season, Jalen Hurts put the Superman cape on and won them a pair games that they'd have otherwise lost. But certainly, hints were there that they just might not be a good football team.
In Week 3, the Eagles went into Chicago as favorites against the Case Keenum-led Bears, and they got their asses kicked. That was an eye-opening performance.
In Week 4, playing a Rams team that didn't have Myles Garrett or Aaron Donald, the Eagles had a 10-point fourth quarter lead, but the offense failed in the second half, and the dam finally broke on defense. That game was widely viewed as the Eagles putting together a competitive performance, when in reality they were outgained 415-172.
In Week 5, the Eagles probably played their best game of the season in a loss to the Jaguars, but it was also the week where they may have failed spectacularly as an organization, allowing Jalen Hurts to board two intercontinental flights to and from London and play in a game despite knowing that he had a superficial blood clot in his leg. He would eventually be diagnosed with deep vein thrombosis ("DVT") and bilateral pulmonary emboli (blood clots in the lungs). His season was over at that point. Investigations into what exactly happened from a medical perspective are most certainly not over.
And then the last three games, without Hurts, the Eagles got their teeth kicked in by a trio of teams that have a combined 5-12-1 record this season when they don't get to play the Eagles. Against those three teams, the Eagles got outscored by 43 points and outgained by 343 yards.
Prior to a recent kickoff, a couple other reporters and I were riffing on what a Jason Kelce mummers speech might sound like.
"The quarterback has blood clots in his lungs!"
"Lane Johnson said 'F*** this s***, I'm outta here!"
"All the running backs are dead!"
"Zach Ertz signed here just to waste away on the practice squad!"
"Grant Calcaterra can't block and they're still asking him to block!"
"DeVonta Smith is the only good receiver and his hamstrings don't work anymore!"
"Landon Dickerson's entire body doesn't work anymore!"
"The last two drafts sucked!"
"The offensive line provides less protection than a broken condom!"
"Jonathan Greenard might be a worse acquisition than Bryce Huff!"
"Cooper DeJean is more into girls than tackling!"
"Jalen Carter and Jordan Davis are getting paid massive money to do nothing"
"Vic Fangio forgot how to coach!"
"Sean Mannion is worse than Kevin Patullo!"
"Nick Sirianni is too busy yelling at fans and officials to think about game management!"
"IT'S THE WHOLE TEAM!!!"
14) Commanders (2-4-1): Last season in the Eagles-Commanders matchup in Maryland, the Eagles scored with with 4:29 to play, and were up 17 points. They went for two, lol. The Commanders didn't like that, and a fight ensued after the Eagles' successful two-point try.
Things getting chippy here between the Eagles and Commanders pic.twitter.com/1FYV4JplMH
— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) December 21, 2025
"If that's how they want to get down, all good. We'll play them again in 2 weeks”
— Jeff Skversky (@JeffSkversky) December 21, 2025
-Dan Quinn If Commanders Felt Disrespected by Eagles leading to Fight after the 2 point try in the 4th pic.twitter.com/rizBKM0KPt
— PV2014 (@PV__2014) November 3, 2026
Last week: 15
13) Saints (2-5): The Saints had a bye this week, but here's where we'll note that the every team in the NFC South has a losing record once again:
Last week: 13
12) Panthers (3-4): In one of their wins (against the Lions), the Panthers gave up 452 yards. In their other two wins, they beat Cooper Rush and Tanner McKee.
Their defense got absolutely destroyed in two games (against the Bears and Buccaneers), and they lost a game on Thursday night to the Packers that was never really in doubt.
The Panthers are better than the NFL's dreck, but also still clearly a below average team.
Last week: 11
11) Cowboys (3-5): For the first 43 minutes, the Cowboys' defense had the Cardinals' offense on lock. Seven drives, 145 yards, 3 points, 2 turnovers, and a turnover on downs.
The Cardinals then benched PhillyVoice comment section hero Jacoby Brissett, and Gardner Minshew entered the game. The Cardinals' final four possessions of regulation:
1) Touchdown: 2 plays, 70 yards
Tyler Allgeier breaks free for a 63-yard rushing TD!
— NFL (@NFL) November 1, 2026
AZvsDAL on FOX/FOX One
Stream on @NFLPlus pic.twitter.com/PuMUPt7CLa
Nice tackling, lol.
2) Touchdown: 7 plays, 80 yards
Tyler Allgeier AGAIN!
— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) November 1, 2026
He reaches for his second TD of the game
📺: FOX/FOX One pic.twitter.com/32zB1sqX1h
3) Touchdown: 6 plays, 58 yards
Trey McBride. Wide open.
— NFL (@NFL) November 1, 2026
AZvsDAL on FOX/FOX One
Stream on @NFLPlus pic.twitter.com/yf944qMNaC
4) Touchdown: 8 plays, 80 yards
This drive started with 1:03 left on the clock, and no timeouts. Here's how that went:
— PV2014 (@PV__2014) November 3, 2026
It went to overtime, and yada yada yada, the Cowboys lost.
The Cowboys have had two all-time late losses this season (with the other being their Week 3 debacle against the Ravens).
Last week: 10
10) Falcons (3-5): In a aesthetically fun rain-soaked game, Michael Penix had an ugly day. 8/24, 125 yards, 0 TDs, 4 INTs, 1 fumble. And the Falcons were shut out.
Zyon McCollum intercepts Michael Penix Jr. for the Falcons' fourth INT of the game!
— FOX Sports: NFL (@NFLonFOX) November 1, 2026
📺: FOX pic.twitter.com/5XaMsk2Bmu
I was curious what Penix's hand size was, given his terrible performance in the rain, and to my surprise he's 95th percentile. In theory he should be good in the rain. Apparently not. 🤷♂️
Last week: 8
9) Buccaneers (3-5): The Bucs have really found something in their run game. Last week against the Panthers, their trio of backs ran wild:
| Bucs RBs | Rush | Yards | YPC | TD |
| Bucky Irving | 24 | 106 | 4.4 | 2 |
| Kenny Gainwell | 14 | 88 | 6.3 | 0 |
| Sean Tucker | 7 | 52 | 7.4 | 1 |
| TOTAL | 45 | 246 | 5.5 | 3 |
In the aforementioned rain-soaked game against the Falcons, Bucky Irving and Kenny Gainwell went off again:
| Bucs RBs | Rush | Yards | YPC | TD |
| Bucky Irving | 27 | 170 | 6.3 | 1 |
| Kenny Gainwell | 25 | 140 | 5.6 | 0 |
| TOTAL | 52 | 310 | 6.0 | 1 |
In their last two games, the Bucs have 580 rushing yards. More impressively, all they tried to do against the Falcons was run it. Baker Mayfield's stats against the Panthers: 0/3, 0 yards, 3 fumbles. 😂
Last week: 12
8) Giants (4-2-1): Since 2008, the Eagles are 27-9 against the Giants, and 2-0 in the playoffs.
Since 2013 the Cowboys are 21-6 against the Giants.
It was a great bye week for Giants fans. They got to see an all-timer Cowboys loss, and a wholly embarrassing performance by the Eagles.
Also, they've already beaten the Cowboys once this season, and on Sunday they get to face an Eagles team that is at its lowest point in a long time.
Last week: 9
7) Packers (4-3): Josh Jacobs was convicted of battery of a woman in September, and in his return to the field from the "Commissioner's Exempt List," he scored TD and and did a weird handcuff celebration.
Josh Jacobs just did a handcuffs celebration after being arrested for beating his girlfriend
— NFL Hate Memes (@NFLHateMemes) October 30, 2026
Omg 😬😬 pic.twitter.com/G7xC44womv
Josh Jacobs explained his celebration after his first TD tonight when he put his hands behind his back.
— Rob Demovsky (@RobDemovsky) October 30, 2026
He said it was an ode to the gospel song, “Break Every Chain.”
He said the TV cameras didn’t get the whole thing. pic.twitter.com/F65YnLMqwF
Get this P.O.S. out of the league.
Last week: 7
6) Rams (4-4): The Rams are 60 percent of their way through the easy part of their schedule.
• Week 6: Cardinals, loss (16-18)
• Week 7: At Raiders, win (35-21)
• Week 8: Chargers, win (24-9)
• Week 9: At Commanders
• Week 10: At Cardinals
They have their bye Week 11, and then their schedule gets harder after that. For now, the Rams are only interesting if they lose to these crappy teams.
Last week: 6
5) Vikings (6-1): The seal is finally broken on the loss column, and the Vikings' next three opponents are as follows:
I'm not a betting app guy, but if I were I'd be curious to see what the payout is on betting the Vikings to miss the playoffs.
Last week: 3
4) Seahawks (4-4): As we have seen in Philly recently in 2023 and 2025, when you get to a Super Bowl, you get everyone's best shot the next season, and I think the Seahawks are feeling that so far. Their bad Monday night loss to the Bears doesn't suddenly negate them as legitimate Super Bowl contenders. They still have a great defense and some playmakers on offense. But there is definitely something missing.
The Bears made a splash move by trading for Jeffery Simmons ahead of the trade deadline. It'll be interesting to see if that kicks off an arms race among the other NFC contenders, with Seattle being a prime candidate to buy.
Jonathan Taylor, maybe?
Last week: 2
3) Lions (5-2): Against a Vikings defense that has frustrated opposing offenses all season long, the Lions had 24 first downs, 384 total yards, 230 rushing yards, and they held the ball for nine more minutes than the Vikings in a gritty win.
That was the Lions' most difficult day on offense all season, and they still did plenty to win. They have the best offense in the NFC.
Last week: 5
2) 49ers (6-1): The Niners had their bye this week. They're a banged-up team that had a chance to rest up and get healthier. With the Vikings' loss, they once again have a share of the best record in the NFC, but they got moved out of the top spot this week by the Bears, who to me look a lot more like a team that can do special things this season.
Last week: 1
1) Bears (6-2): Trading for the best interior defensive lineman in the NFL and then beating the reigning champs in their building by three scores was quite a statement week by the Bears.
Last week: 4
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