More News:

July 08, 2016

Week in Review: #SEPTApocalypse, hacker poop and Questlove's last laugh

Police say a woman at a Central PA gas station sprayed gasoline on a driver who criticized her for smoking a cigarette while pumping gas. We don’t have a joke for this one, but now we get to run the mugshot again.

  • This is Week in Review
  • The first sentence is true.
  • The second sentence is a dumb joke.
  • It’s not a serious review of the week’s most serious news, obviously.

Questlove mocks Mayor Kenney's decision not to bring The Roots back to play the July 4 concert on the Parkway, saying the city lost some 'cool points.' “Everybody’s entitled to their opinion,” wheezes 76-year-old O’Jays singer Eddie Levert while icing his knees and waiting for his rain-soaked tux to dry.

A hatchery in South Jersey plans to release hundreds of fathead minnows into the wild, to feed on mosquito larvae. “I know, I know. It’s a disgusting habit. And sure, my head could stand to lose a few pounds,” sighs minnow. “Maybe I don’t live so long, or grow very big. And I’ll probably wash up on shore one day and stink up the place and everybody will think it’s gross but nobody will get sad about it. But. Wait. I was going somewhere with this.”

Thirty-five Philly-area Wendy's locations were among more than a thousand nation-wide hit by hackers attempting to steal credit card info. Potential victims are encouraged to come forward and tell everyone how often they eat at Wendy’s.

Three Philly-area schools make the top 25 in Forbes annual ranking college rankings lists. “That’s about two-thirds,” explains UArts math major.

Hackers temporarily change an electronic road sign to read 'poop' in South Jersey. Which brings up an important issue: What’s the bare minimum simplest, most pointless thing you can do and still be called a hacker?

SEPTA takes 120 Regional Rail trains out of service following the discovery of a structural defect. And Uber drivers are playing that Bieber song on a loop. So maybe ask if you can work from home?

The head of the Catholic League says Mayor Jim Kenney is "demonstrably un-American in misusing his public office to conduct his personal war on the Catholic Church." “Christ. Fine. I’ll bring back The Roots next year.”