August 01, 2017
Imagine my shock when I peeked at my phone early Sunday night (or thereabouts) and saw a headline to the effect of “Chris Christie brawls with a Cubs fan.”
This grabbed my attention because a) I am a Cubs fan and b) I do not abide in any way, shape or form with how Chris Christie comports himself either professionally or personally.
I’d already downed a pair of Rum Runners at the Greenhouse in sunny Margate. So, yeah, I was feeling pretty good. But I wasn't feeling "pretty good" enough to forget that I'd gotten into a beef with him. Sure, I was in the city that wants him drawn-and-quartered over a beach-replenishment project. But – Rum Runners or not – I'd have remembered it if I had a personal run-in with the governor.
It wouldn’t have surprised me, doing that and all. But I was of clear enough mind to realize I needn’t frantically compose a self-defense excuse to provide my employers this week.
Also, the fact that it happened as the Cubbies padded their division lead in Milwaukee meant it COULDN’T have been me. (Pshew!)
But enough about the ramifications of day drinking. That’s something I’ve covered before when I talked to a guy named Gary who got caught on video losing a fight with his wife’s car in lower Northeast Philly.
What we’re going to talk about today is the fact that Christie, who is an elected troll, went on CNN on Monday afternoon whimpering and whining about the fact that he got trolled in public. And, though deft enough of hand so as not to drop a single nacho, he doesn’t think that’s very nice.
Aw. Poor thing needs a hug!
Let’s set aside the fact that he’s the lamest of ducks with abysmal poll numbers that need to be scraped off the bottom of the Cooper River to be seen in a state that he barely pays attention to anymore.
His son – among those apparently very upset about the criticism that erupted when his family took over a state park beach when commoners weren’t allowed to do so – apparently works for the second-place Milwaukee Brewers in some capacity.
Let’s also ignore the fact that he’s already trying out for a sports talk radio gig post-governership, which is more or less a paid-troll position. Elected officials should seek out gainful employment not called lobbying or consulting after their terms end.
Heck, we can also set aside the fact that the Cubs fan he encountered is a Trump-voting registered Republican who thinks Hillary Clinton should be “prosecuted for her corruption” and Christie “is an embarrassment to the party.”
Instead, I want to zero in on his appearance on CNN’s "The Lead with Jake Tapper" on Monday afternoon.
In it, Christie is seen grinning as a video of the Cubs-fan altercation is aired. (You can watch it via this link.)
“No,” he says when asked if he ever “thinks twice” about acting in such a fashion.
Then, he delves into a treatise about people swearing at him publicly and “says a lot of awful things with children sitting around” (even though the Republican heckler, who missed Victor Caratini's first MLB home run because the governor shoved nachos in his face, claims he only said Christie “sucks”).
Then, the governor said that he has a two-strikes rule, in which he won’t fire back if someone heckles him just once.
“If you give it, you’re gonna get it back,” he noted, before deeming his reaction “mellow.”
“Public officials are public servants,” he concluded, “but they are not meant to be public punching bags.”
Well, allow me to slide my Anthony Rizzo jersey on and tell Chris Christie that he is full of s***.
A guy who spars with teachers at town hall meetings, plays tough on the Boardwalk (with bodyguards nearby!) and writes off protesters as “ignorant” has no right to claim any sort of moral high ground.
He’s right that public officials are supposed to be public servants. And, he’s right that the good ones needn’t be treated like punching bags.
Christie is less a public servant than the human embodiment of an online troll, never listening to counter-arguments other than to find a way to dismiss them out of hand for lulz.
When you act like Christie has for the better part of the past decade, you have no right to whine when you face the same thing.
When public servants treat their constituents like punching bags, they deserve an in-kind response.
When he tries to play the victim, he should be shouted down for false equivalence; he set the tone and now he has to deal with its ramifications.
What Chris Christie is is a loud-mouthed bully who doesn’t like it when it gets thrown back in his face.
Well, too bad.
You get what you deserve, Chris Christie, and I hope you face mockery each and every day until your term mercifully ends.
Maybe that way, you'll reflect on your behavior and be the positive change that you'd like to see in your haters.
(And, in conclusion, go Cubs.)