September 11, 2026
The Philadelphia Eagles' regular season will begin on Sunday, when the Birds will host the Washington Commanders at 4:25 p.m. For those of you who like to watch the Birds during the season but like to spend time with family, exercise, take up a fulfilling hobby, or just generally live life in some productive way during the offseason, well, you missed a lot.
Let's get you all caught up. I suppose you can either choose to watch the following video, or read the stuff below it. 🫡
As you saw, the Eagles' offense was bad, boring, and predictable last season, amazingly so given that they have a whole lot of talented players. The badness was a collective effort, from the head coach to the offensive coordinator, to the banged-up offensive line, to even the quarterback to some degree.
But the offensive coordinator, Kevin Patullo, was particularly at risk for losing his job, since it was easy to compile a laundry list of gripes directly related to his responsibilities, with basically no arguments to defend him.
So he's gone, and Sean Mannion — a 34-year-old ex-quarterback — is in. Mannion will run some version of the offense popularized by the 49ers' Kyle Shanahan (really his dad Mike, if we're being real) and the Rams' Sean McVay.
I mean, even if you didn't pay attention all offseason, you knew about this at least, right?
Brown moped his way through the 2025 season, asked to be traded, and got his wish, as he was sent to the New England Patriots for first-and fifth-round picks, though the first-round pick is in 2028.
Brown and former bestie Jalen Hurts had a fractured relationship, which no doubt contributed to the parting of ways. Brown is now with his boyhood favorite team, and Hurts is presumably thankful to be done with Brown's drama. To be determined how much each side will miss the other, if at all.
We should also mention that Brown is already hurt. He could be out for around a month with a high ankle sprain suffered in the Patriots' season-opening loss to the Seahawks.
The three main players they lost, aside from Brown, were Jaelan Phillips, Reed Blankenship, and Nakobe Dean. They all left in free agency. Phillips signed an absurd contract with the Carolina Panthers, while Blankenship and Dean signed mid-tier deals with the Houston Texans and Las Vegas Raiders, respectively.
The Eagles added some guys too. The biggest addition was probably a draft-day trade for edge defender Jonathan Greenard, a solid veteran player who most recently played for the Vikings. You may have to wait a game or two to see him, though, as he is recovering from a freak pectoral injury suffered while lifting during the offseason.
They also added a super tall and fast cornerback in Riq Woolen, and a few veteran receivers in Dontayvion Wicks, Hollywood Brown, and Elijah Moore. Wicks will see the most playing time among those guys, at least initially.
The Eagles selected offensive players with each of their first five picks.
Lemon is the only player above who is likely to get any real playing time, barring injuries to other veterans on the team. You might ask, "How does he look?"
Well, your guess is as good as mine, since we barely saw him, as he was rehabbing a hamstring injury all summer. (In the rare times we did get to see him though... 😬.)
Among the guys taken really late in the draft, the most newsworthy selection was native Nigerian Uar Bernard, who had never played a down of football in his life. Fun story, but for the purposes of getting you caught up on this season, he won't be a factor anytime soon.
Last year, pressure was off to some degree, as the team had just won its second-franchise Lombardi Trophy. But after an extremely disappointing title defense, pressure is going to be on the team to be much better, and as always, the quarterback and head coach will be at the forefront of the scrutiny if things don't go well.
It should be a fun 2026 season. Or not. I don't know, really. But please pay attention next offseason, as I'm trying to put my kid through college. Thanks in advance.
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