May 16, 2024
Is it a semi-pointless exercise to predict each regular season game's outcome as early as May, a day after the schedule was released? Yes, yes it is. Because I'm a hack sellout, let's just go ahead and do it anyway.
• Week 1: Packers "at" Eagles (in Brazil): While the NFL was still deciding whether the Packers or Browns would be the Eagles' Week 1 opponent in Brazil, Packers president Mark Murphy expressed that his team could be at "a competitive disadvantage" because Green Bay has a small airport, via Rob Demovsky of ESPN.
"We're very supportive of international play," Murphy said last month at the NFL annual meetings. "The one issue with Green Bay, though, is the size of our airport and the size of our runway, and we want to make sure that we're not at a competitive disadvantage in terms of how long it's gonna take us to get to Brazil.
"There's some thought that we might have to bus to Milwaukee and then fly, just some of those things."
The Packers were able to fly to London out of Green Bay-Austin Straubel International Airport, but the flight to Brazil would require a larger aircraft.
On the eve of the announcement, Murphy said he was still "not sure exactly what we'll have to do to get to Brazil," but added that the team would "gladly go" if it were chosen.
Lol what? It's a Week 1 game! It's not like they're playing a game Week 0, and will thus be legitimately short on time for opponent preparation. They'll have all kinds of time to get to Brazil, and the only difference seems to be a two-hour bus ride to Milwaukee. YOU GET TO PLAY A "ROAD" GAME AT A NEUTRAL SITE, AND AGAINST ANOTHER NFC CONTENDER! Honestly, the Packers should be thrilled to play the Eagles in Brazil.
The Packers are a formidable opponent, but the Eagles are 3-0 in Week 1 games under Nick Sirianni, while the Packers have suffered blowout losses — 23-7 in Minnesota in 2022, and 38-3 in New Orleans — in two of their last three seasons under Matt LaFleur.
Win. 1-0.
• Week 2: Falcons at Eagles: The Falcons continue to reside in extended purgatory, as they have won seven games in five of the last six seasons, despite playing in a division that has been mostly bad during that stretch.
• 2018: 7-9
• 2019: 7-9
• 2020: 4-12
• 2021: 7-10
• 2022: 7-10
• 2023: 7-10
The Falcons have gotten well deserved heat for signing Kirk Cousins to a four-year, $180 million contract and then subsequently drafting a quarterback in the first round less than two months later. Give me the Eagles over a team that doesn't know what it's doing.
Win. 2-0.
• Week 3: Eagles at Saints: More NFC South mediocrity. The Saints are 25-26 since Drew Brees retired, and the head coach / quarterback combo of Dennis Allen and Derek Carr isn't very inspiring.
Win. 3-0
• Week 4: Eagles at Buccaneers: The Eagles' early season matchup in Tampa in 2023 was their most emphatic win of the season. Of course, their loss in Tampa in the playoffs was among their worst no-show performances, punctuating one of the worst in-season collapses in NFL history.
Playing 1:00 p.m. games in Tampa in September can be tricky. I remember when the Eagles played an early season game there in 2018 that was so hot that people in the stands were keeling over from heat exhaustion. (They lost that day to Ryan Fitzpatrick and DeSean Jackson.)
Todd Bowles seems to have Jalen Hurts' number, and this feels like a prime spot for the Birds' first loss of the season.
Loss. 3-1.
• Week 5: BYE: This is a rough spot for the bye, but the Eagles' schedule has significantly more advantages than disadvantages this season.
• Week 6: Browns at Eagles: The Eagles are 3-0 under Nick Sirianni after the bye, with three impressive wins.
The Browns have a good roster, but they're saddled with a scummy, fragile quarterback for the foreseeable future.
Win. 4-1.
• Week 7: Eagles at Giants: After a 3-0 sweep of the Giants in 2022, the Eagles split with them last season. Their Week 18 loss to the Giants was the most pathetic of their epic collapse, in my opinion.
Still, the Birds have owned this rivalry, winning 11 straight games at home, and 26 of the last 33 matchups overall. And, you know, the Giants still don't have a quarterback.
Also, it's hard to take any team that would wear this seriously.
A look at the New York Giants’ commemorative uniform that will be worn up to two times this season: pic.twitter.com/uKxxL4QEJz
— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) May 16, 2024
Win. 5-1
• Week 8: Eagles at Bengals: Joe Burrow played through performance-hampering injuries for most of 2023 before he was finally knocked out for the season in a Week 11 loss to the Ravens. Still, the Bengals finished 9-8, going 4-3 down the stretch with freaking Jake Browning as the starter. The Bengals remain legitimate Super Bowl contenders, and if the injury prone Burrow can stay upright in 2024 (it's fair to call him "injury prone," right?), then this could be the Eagles' hardest opponent of the season.
The Eagles made significant strides to improve their secondary this offseason. Ja'Marr Chase and Tee Higgins will be their best early test in the first half of the season.
Loss. 5-2
• Week 9: Jaguars at Eagles: Are we sure Trevor Lawrence is good? Via reddit:
Anyway, Doug Pederson is back in town to face the Eagles, but, you know, we already did that in 2022. I'm not sure why this is a matchup that NBC wanted for Sunday Night Football.
Win. 6-2
• Week 10: Eagles at Cowboys: I believe there is some potential for a bad Cowboys season, but it's hard to ignore that they have beaten the Eagles six straight times in Dallas. Dak Prescott started five of those games, and averaged 310 passing yards per game.
On a side note, it's kinda weird that neither Eagles-Cowboys game this season is on in primetime, given the extreme viewership numbers this matchup always generates.
Loss. 6-3
• Week 11: Commanders at Eagles: This is a tricky Thursday night matchup. On the surface, the Eagles have the advantage of a short week home game, but in reality they'll be traveling home from Dallas, while the Commanders have a home game Week 10. It may not really be much of an advantage for the Eagles at all, as the Commanders will have an easy train or bus ride up to Philly.
The Commanders always seem to play the Eagles tough, even when they suck, and I believe that they might be one of the most improved teams in the NFL this season.
Loss. 6-4
• Week 12: Eagles at Rams: After losing two straight to NFC East opponents, WIP callers are clamoring for Kenny Pickett to start and for Nick Sirianni to be fired. But after a mini-bye, the Eagles get right in front of a "Philly takeover" crowd at SoFi.
Win. 7-4
• Week 13: Eagles at Ravens: The Ravens had the NFL's best record (13-4) and point differential (+203) in 2023. They have consistently choked in the playoffs during the Lamar Jackson era, but there's no questioning their dominance in the regular season.
Loss. 7-5
• Week 14: Panthers at Eagles: The Panthers were the worst team in the NFL last season, and their ownership is clueless.
They improved the interior of their offensive line, which should help Bryce Young after a dreadful rookie season, but otherwise this roster didn't get that much better. This is the automatic out-of-division "chalk up a win" game on the Eagles' schedule. Of course, that's what the Cardinals were last year. 😬
Win. 8-5
• Week 15: Steelers at Eagles: In each of the last three years, it looked as though the Steelers' incredible streak of no losing seasons since 2003 was going to end, and then they got hot to close the season and preserve the streak.
The have a very dangerous playmaking defense and feel like the type of inferior opponent against whom the Eagles could stub their toe.
Loss. 8-6
• Week 16: Eagles at Commanders: With three games to play, the Eagles find themselves in something close to "must-win" territory, and they take care of business on the road against the Commanders in an ugly, close game.
Win. 9-6
• Week 17: Cowboys at Eagles: As noted above, I believe there is some potential for a bad Cowboys season. They lost a ton of free agents this offseason, and their depth was notably depleted in the trenches on both sides of the ball. The Cowboys feel like a team primed for late-season struggles as the rigors of the NFL season wear on their starters and their depth pieces are unready for big moments. The Eagles win a big one against the depleted Cowboys, setting themselves up to win the NFC East.
Win. 10-6
• Week 18: Giants at Eagles: I mean, again, the Giants still just don't have a quarterback and it's not like the rest of the roster is good enough to overcome that. The Eagles clinch the division with a win, and they handle their business.
Win. 11-6
• Wildcard round (Eagles are the 3 seed): Bears at Eagles: Caleb Williams proves the Justin Fields detractors right, and Chicago makes the playoffs for the first time since 2020. The Eagles handle the playoff neophyte Williams in front of a loud Philly crowd at the Linc and move on.
Win. 12-6
• Divisional round: Eagles at 49ers: Assuming they don't trade Brandon Aiyuk, the Niners are returning all 11 starters from 2023 and should be a formidable presence in the NFC once again. In this scenario they're the 2 seed, and they whoop up on the Eagles at home. For the second straight season there are debates as to whether Nick Sirianni should survive the ending of the season, but once again he does.
Loss. 12-7
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