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July 10, 2017

Please, don't use an umbrella at a baseball game

I was treated to yet another Phillies loss at Citizens Bank Park Thursday evening, the highlight of which was some fireworks accidentally going off in the seventh inning.

The weather was positively bleh, with precipitation ranging from light drizzle to steady rain throughout. Naturally, fans did what they could to stay dry.

Unfortunately for many of those in attendance, a few fans decided it's appropriate to use an umbrella to shield them in their seats. If you are a baseball fan who does this, here's a tip: don't.

The couple a few rows in front of us were particularly egregious. After keeping their umbrella open for a solid inning after the initial rain had stopped — completely blocking at least a dozen fans' view of home plate — they popped it back open after some light drops started falling again, dousing the family in front of them with the excess water.

Unaware of the Phillies' official umbrella policy, my mother went and spoke to a customer service rep, who suggested she inform the usher of the issue. The thing is, it shouldn't be the job of our section's sweet, elderly usher to deal with these particularly inconsiderate fans.

The team allows umbrellas in the stadium but asks you to be "considerate" of other fans. That's impossible, because an umbrella is a long pole with a canopy on top, and you're at a baseball game, where there are likely people sitting behind you. It's sort of like holding your palm in front of someone's face. Is that something you would do? I hope not.

Generally, if the rain is particularly heavy, there's a delay or the game is canceled. So if baseball is being played, it's safe to say the precipitation isn't coming down enough to justify an umbrella in the first place.

This is why ponchos exist. They sell them at the stadium. Buy one of those, bring a rain jacket or just get wet. Or, just don't come to the game at all. I really don't care.

Just don't use an umbrella. You're being rude.