May 07, 2015
To anyone who thought the feud between former Phillies Mitch Williams and Lenny Dykstra was fake, I have news for you: It’s real. And it’s spectacular!
Recently, Dykstra and Williams were the "guests of honor” at the second annual* Philly Sports Roast, and the two ex-teammates held no punches when going after one another. Perhaps it should come as no surprise that the following exchange — one involving the roots of their hatred — happened at the end of the event, after more than one adult beverage was consumed.
The language is certainly not safe for work, so grab some headphones before watching:
Dykstra’s past — fraud, grand theft auto, prison, etc. — made him an easy target, but when Sixers PA announcer Matt Cord took to the mic, The Dude seemed to have had enough, forcing M.C. Joe Conklin to come to his rescue, which including turning off his microphone, not the first time it was necessary during the roast:
In fact, Dykstra's mic was first unplugged during WIP Morning Show co-host Al Morganti's segment of the roast, when jokes were made about his history as a financial adviser. That prompted Dykstra to begin screaming about his 519-1 record picking stocks and telling people to go to his website, NailsInvestments.com, for proof.
Lenny not happy with Morganti ripping his investment skills. Not one bit. "Jim Cramer was the only mother f--ker that got it right!"— Matt Mullin (@matt_mullin) April 24, 2015
Did Lenny Dykstra just plug his investment website? "Go to http://t.co/BbHIj9LpVh! My record is 515-1!" I think they have unplugged his mic.— Matt Mullin (@matt_mullin) April 24, 2015
To recap, Dykstra was actually promoting his investment skills while being made fun of for going to prison for fraud. That's just the kind of night it was.
Easily the best roaster — and also the only professional comedian aside from Conklin — was Joe Matarese, a South Jersey native and one of Williams’ favorite comics. Here’s some footage of him going after Dykstra:
It’s okay because the event ended with the two hugging it out, although I’m pretty sure they still hate each other.
Here are some other funny moments from the roast:
They just booed John Bolaris when he was introduced at the Philly Sports Roast. Also, Tony Bruno is a no-show...— Matt Mullin (@matt_mullin) April 24, 2015
Conklin to Leslie Gudel: "You know Bolaris predicted he'll be going home with you tonight. Wrong prediction again, John." #PhillySportsRoast— Matt Mullin (@matt_mullin) April 24, 2015
"It was ketchup." - Mitch Williams on Curt Schilling's bloody sock.— Matt Mullin (@matt_mullin) April 24, 2015
Stu Bykofsky to Susie Celek: "I don't know what you paid for the sex change, Brent, but you sure as shit got your money's worth."— Matt Mullin (@matt_mullin) April 24, 2015