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November 23, 2016

From the Porngate report: 13 NSFW examples of your public officials at work

The "Report of Special Deputy Attorney General Douglas F. Ganser on the Misuse of Commonwealth of Pennsylvania Government E-mail Communication Systems" was released to the public on Tuesday.

The 50-page report, submitted to the Pennsylvania Attorney General's Office on May 27, was released by Attorney General Bruce Beemer, who took over that office from his convicted predecessor, Kathleen Kane. Its purview: pornographic emails sent on state computers by a state Supreme Court justice, other state judges and court employees, a state legislator, a senior deputy attorney general as well as current and former agents in the state attorney general's office, plus high-ranking officials of state executive branch agencies, city and county detectives, a parole agent and other state and county employees.

"It is also my hope that the release of this Report will bring some further level of public awareness to the problem of inappropriate communications by officers of the court and other Commonwealth employees, particularly those entrusted with investigating, prosecuting, and adjudicating potential violations of the laws of the Commonwealth — and that this increased awareness will cause a requisite change in behavior," Gansler wrote in the report.

"Publishing here the names and identities of the primary senders of inappropriate material is not done lightly or with the intent to embarrass the individuals involved. Rather, the primary goal of transparency, outlined at the beginning of this Report, requires that I do so."

Beemer disagreed, saying the report, which could end up costing $2 million of taxpayer money, was a poorly researched and executed document that would endanger the reputations of many of the senders.

As a result, he took it upon himself to release it minus the names. Even those 38 people identified by the Ganser report as sending 50 or more emails containing "sexually explicit or offensive language or pictures."

It would have been "imprudent," he said.

Beemer, for his part, said Tuesday that Gansler's method of determining offensive emails was faulty because, for example, discussions of breast cancer were considered pornography and a beer commercial that ran during the Super Bowl was deem offensive. He said the review offered no evidence that the emails tainted the outcome of any cases.

The report included 13 examples of emails deemed offensive by Gansler's investigators, which were not redacted by Beemer, and we reproduce here for readers to judge for themselves.

The following descriptions and information are all directly from the report. (Warning: Some readers may find descriptions of these emails to be offensive.):

'THE BALD EAGLE XX'

Sent Monday, March 30, 2009, at 2:18:53 a.m. from an OAG employee’s personal account to 16 recipients:

This e-mail contains the following relevant text:

“But in ALL of the Eagle Family, none is a more beautiful, majestic… awe inspiring, or a spiritually arousing specimen than the Spread Eagle…” followed by a series of photographs of nude women with their legs spread apart. Several of the photographs depict oral sex, masturbation, or sexual intercourse. Accompanying some of the photographs are captions like “The Spread Eagle is a beautiful, elegant creature…but a very, very messy eater…”

The email also has several additional photographs attached, depicting nude women and similar sexual acts.

'TAKE A GUESS?'

Sent Monday, Oct. 21, 2013, at 1:40:56 a.m. from a retired OAG employee’s private account to 67 recipients, including at least one judge:

This e-mail contains the following relevant text:

“CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THIS IS? It’s the next thing taxpayers will have to pay for! MICHELLE OBAMA’S HIGH SCHOOL REUNION !!!!!!!” Attached to the e-mail is a photograph of a large group of bare-breasted, dark-skinned women of African ancestry standing outdoors by a river, dressed in what appear to be traditional tribal skirts and adornments and holding bundles of bamboo sticks.

'I LOVE TENNIS'

Sent Monday, June 29, 2009, at 7:11:32 p.m. from an OAG employee’s government account to two recipients:

This e-mail contains the following text:

“Playah, as a former tennis pro, I thought you might enjoy this. [. . . .] Do you need anyone killed?”

Attached to the e-mail is a single PowerPoint file called “ILovetennis.pps” that contains photographs of partially and fully exposed women’s breasts.

'I'VE SENT SOME'

Sent Monday, March 7, 2011, at 12:50:42 a.m. from a retired OAG employee’s private e-mail account to 41 recipients, including at least one judge:

This e-mail includes 22 attachments, all of which are photographs of naked women. The forwarded email message includes, among other text, the following statement:

“Ashes to ashes / Dust to dust / If Rock Hudson ate pussy / He’d still be with us.”

'THE FOREHEAD DOT'

Sent Monday, Sept. 28, 2009, at 6:07:04 p.m. from a Pennsylvania Board of Probation & Parole agent’s government account to 10 recipients:

This e-mail contains, under the headline “Finally, Someone’s Cleared This Up,” a joke purporting to explain why Hindu women wear a dot, or bindi, on their foreheads. The relevant text reads, “On her wedding night, the husband must scratch off the dot to see whether he’s won a convenience store, a gas station, a donut shop, a taxi cab, or a motel in America. If nothing is there, he must remain in India to answer telephones and provide us with technical support.”

'A GREAT SHORT STORY'

Sent Friday, April 29, 2011, at 3:27:26 p.m. from an OAG employee’s government account:

This email contains the following text, accompanied by a photograph of a woman leaning back in the sunlight:

“Great Short Story / One day, long, long ago, there lived a woman who did not whine, nag or bitch / But it was a long time ago, and it was just that one day. The End[.]”

'THEY'RE BAAACCCKKKKK!!! PEOPLE OF WALMART #4!!!'

Sent Monday, Nov. 2, 2009, at 2:32:52 p.m. from a district attorney’s office employee’s government account to 12 recipients:

This email contains 19 attachment photographs purporting to depict shoppers at Walmart stores, along with corresponding captions in the body of the email. One of the photographs depicts a person with long hair wearing cutoff jean shorts and a midriffbaring top, and there is a superimposed graphic in the corner of a winking smiley face and the text, “PEOPLE OF WALMART.” The corresponding caption in the email reads, “This is either the ugliest woman ever, the worst cross-dresser ever, or a guy that is really bad at choosing gender appropriate clothes. Maybe it’s all three – an ugly woman, cross-dressing as a man, who can’t pick out manly clothes. Texas[.]”

'NEW MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS'

Sent Thursday, Sept. 17, 2009, at 3:59:15 p.m. from a county judicial employee’s government e-mail account to 30 recipients:

This email includes 19 attachments, each of which is a satirical motivational poster. One of the motivational posters included features a photograph of a woman with large breasts holding a bow and arrow as if poised to fire the arrow. Below the photograph appears the following text: “GAY TEST / If you noticed the bow first, then I have bad news for you[.]” Another poster features a photograph of two smiling young people standing in front of a tall man with blond hair and very light skin. Under the photograph appears the text: “ALBINOS / They either have no soul or a good sense of humor. I can’t figure out which.”

'DATE'

Sent Wednesday, May 27, 2009, at 1:37:28 p.m. from an OAG employee’s private email account to 23 recipients:

This e-mail includes one attachment, a photograph of an elderly woman in a wheelchair holding her bare breasts. Above the photograph appears the text, “Want a Date?”

'DON'T MISS THESE DEALS FROM CLEAR CHANNEL - HARRISBURG'

Sent Tuesday, April 10, 2012, at 7:15:53 p.m. from an OAG employee’s government e-mail account to one recipient:

This email contains the following text, in response to a conversation participant’s earlier assertion that she hates midgets: “ESPECIALLY ASIAN MIDGETS DRESSED AS CLOWNS!”

'NICODERM'

Sent Monday, March 9, 2009, at 7:21:08 p.m. from a commonwealth employee’s email account to three recipients:

This email contains the following text:

“Nicoderm. Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals. One of them looks at the other one’s penis and notices there’s a Nicoderm patch on it. He looks at the other priest and says, ‘I believe you’re supposed to put that patch on your arm or shoulder, not your penis.’ The other one replies, ‘It’s working just fine. I’m down to two butts a day.’ *IF YOU LAUGH . . . YOU’LL GO STRAIGHT TO HELL!!!!”

'AMISH SEX'

Sent Tuesday, Jan. 17, 2012, at 1:21:34 p.m. from an employee at the Penn State University Hershey Medical Center to seven recipients:

This email contains the following text:

“Amish Sex...An Amish woman and her daughter were riding in an old buggy one cold blustery day. The daughter said to her mother, ‘My hands are freezing cold.’ The mother replied, ‘Put them between your legs and your body heat will warm them up.’ The daughter did, and her hands warmed up. The next day the daughter was riding with her boyfriend who said, ‘My hands are freezing cold.’ The girl replied, ‘Put them between my legs and the warmth of my body will warm them up.’ He did and so warmed his hands.

The following day the boyfriend was again in the buggy with the daughter. He said, ‘My nose is cold...’ The girl replied, ‘Put it between my legs, the warmth of my body will warm it up.’ He did and so warmed his nose. The day after the boyfriend was again driving with the daughter, and he said, 'My penis is frozen solid.’

The next day, the daughter was driving in the buggy with her mother again, and she asks, ‘Have you ever heard of a penis?’ Concerned the mother said, ‘Why yes....why do you ask?’ The daughter replies, ‘They make one hell of a mess when they defrost, don’t they!!!’”

'HOW OBAMA PLANS TO CATCH ILLEGAL MEXICANS'

Sent Thursday, June 17, 2010, at 1:15:53 p.m. from an OAG agent:

This email shows a photograph of a Corona Extra beer bottle placed underneath a trap made from a cardboard Natural Ice box and what appears to be a broom handle. The photograph is accompanied by the following text: “How Obama Plans To Catch Illegal Mexicans.”

'A NEW VERSION OF WHACK A MOLE {XX}'

Screenshot from attachment to an email, sent Tuesday, Aug. 16, 2011, at 1:53:59 p.m. from an OAG agent to 11 recipients:

This screenshot shows a still image from a video attachment depicting a woman performing sexual acts with male genitalia that appear through holes in a “Whac-A-Mole” style game board.

•  •  •

And so the report may have some lasting effect, perhaps, on the behavior of public officials in Pennsylvania, we quote for posterity the following recommendations made by Gansler, a former Maryland attorney general:

There are several important steps that should be taken immediately to address this real threat to the integrity of Pennsylvania:

• All judges who sent sexually explicit or offensive e-mails should be referred to the JCB for investigation and potential disciplinary action;

• All OAG, prosecutorial personnel, or executive branch employees that sent sexually explicit or offensive e-mails should be referred to the appropriate administrative supervisor or body, such as the Disciplinary Board of the Supreme Court, for further investigation and potential disciplinary action;

• All Commonwealth employees, including judges and legislators, should be required to attend anti-bias and diversity training;

• The Commonwealth judiciary and other Commonwealth agencies should use software that blocks access to inappropriate websites on Commonwealth computers and that monitors transmission of inappropriate materials;

• Commonwealth government entities should review and likely revise their policies and procedures to provide for a more robust system of identifying and reporting potential misconduct by judges and other Commonwealth employees;

• Commonwealth government entities should review their non-discrimination policies and consider undertaking steps to improve enforcement of those policies.

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