April 09, 2018
Hear ye, hear ye! It is I, King Craig IV. I call your attention today to inform you that none of you may enter my castle, from which I will soon inhabit to rule over all the land.
That is, of course, as soon as I am able to muster up the $1.7 million needed to purchase the so-called "Castle of Beltzville" overlooking Beltzville Lake in Carbon County, Pennsylvania.
According to a real estate listing on the "internet" (a term unfamiliar to a medieval king, such as myself), construction on the castle began in the two thousand and twelfth year of our Lord:
"The Castle of Beltzville" closely resembles and is inspired by the Palace/Fortress erected in Madrid Spain in the 15th Century namely "New Castle of Manzanares el Real" also known as "Castle of Los Mendoza." Construction began in 1475 and today is one of the most preserved Castles of the Community of Madrid Spain and around the world. The owner of "The Castle of Beltzville' being fascinated with Castle's and their history has traveled the world in search of his ideal Castle and has chosen to construct this home with a Beautiful View overlooking Beltzville Lake in Carbon County, Pa. Construction began in 2012.
Photographs show there is still much work to be done on my future castle. For that, I will allow some of you into the castle to help with the necessary renovations.
However, once the living quarters and barracks and moat are completed, the castle will be for me, the king, and me alone. Gasp in awe at the perch from which I will command my kingdom.
Five bedrooms and six latrines, all to myself at 30 Lakeside Dr, Lehighton. That is, of course, if no rival king or queen swoops in to buy it. Considering the property has been on the market for 277 days, I don't think that will be an issue.